When you exhibit positive and negative qualities, you are not flawed; you are complete. When you are comfortable with your shadow, when you embrace your shadow because this is how the infinite consciousness made you, then you are attractive beyond measure, and your life is an adventure. You are natural when you are comfortable with your ambiguity, and nothing is more beautiful than being natural.
When you are comfortable with both your strengths and weaknesses, you radiate simple, unaffected humanity. This is the essence of being lovable because you are not subject to behaviors that drive love away. You do not constantly look for approval by getting caught up in thinking: What do others think of me? Am I superior, am I inferior? Do people like me, or do they dislike me? You donít constantly compare yourself to an ideal that doesnít exist. Your ego doesnít say to you, ďIím not good enough. Iím not pretty enough. Iím not handsome enough. Iím not rich enough.Ē
If your experience of yourself is object-referred, it is fear-based and resistant to what is. If your experience of yourself is self-referred, it is love-based and accepting of what is. Self-referred people are natural and unaffected by the opinions of others. They are innocent, simple and childlike. Thank you, God, for making me just like I am. I have good things, and I have bad things; I have all things in me. I am complete. Self-acceptance, total self-acceptance, means self-forgiveness. When you forgive yourself and stop judging yourself, then you wonít judge others, and there will be less conflict in the world.
All relationship is a mirror to the self. Identify the qualities that attract you to others, and the qualities that repel you. Write them down on a piece of paper. This is who you are. And if you accept yourself as you are, and love yourself as you are, you become immensely attractive because you are natural.
Adapted from Power, Freedom, and Grace by Deepak Chopra (Amber Allen, 2006).