When you decide to begin dating with a purpose of finding a life partner, sometimes it is difficult to know how much time to put into dating one person to find out if they are “right” or “wrong” for you. In past articles, I have talked about paying attention to your own “red flags,” but if the person does not have any “red flags,” how do you know if they are a fit for you or not.
Discovering if someone is a fit for you can be tricky, thus so many divorces in our country. Creating a “wish list” of all the qualities you desire in a partner is key. Once you have this list, as you begin to date, even if you are wildly attracted to someone, see if they have the main qualities that you are looking for in a life partner. If they do not, muster up the discipline to walk away. Being only wildly attracted to someone does not make for a long term healthy relationship.
Now, here is the tricky part. You are dating someone, and they have most of the qualities that you are seeking, but you just do not find them attractive. There can be one of two things going on here and only you will be able to decide, or you can solicit a friend to help. The person is either truly not a fit for you, or you are not feeling attracted to the person because they possess the nice qualities you are seeking in a partner and this is foreign to you. Although it sounds strange, we can be repelled by the very type of person we claim to want to partner with. I believe that we are just not accustomed to feeling good with a partner because so often it has felt bad.