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My Masturbation Story

My Masturbation Story

By Dr. Martha Tara Lee for YourTango.com.

I first masturbated when I was four or five years old. It was definitely before I entered primary school and so this is how I remembered when it happened.

My sister, who is one year younger, was the one who taught me how to masturbate. So if I was five, she was four. If I was four, she was three.

My sister came to me, and she said in Mandarin (paraphrasing from memory): “Hey Sis, I know if you did something you’d feel good.”

I asked: “What?”

She revealed: “If you take the bolster (a long pillow), you put it between your legs, and squeeze your thighs, and kind-of snake your legs around the bolster, and lock them in your ankles. Next you squeeze really hard, and then you rub your privates (she really meant clitoris) against the bolster. You have to rub really hard. You will feel good at some point.”

I was like… “What are you talking about?”

I tried it, and I didn’t feel anything besides pain in my ankles and frustrated. I went back to her: “You must be lying. Nothing happened. You show me!”

More from YourTango: When Partner’s Sex Drive Varies, Masturbation Saves the Day

My sister demonstrated the moves to me.

I admitted, “That’s what I did. I still didn’t feel anything!”

My sister ordered: “No, no, no. You don’t give up. Just keep trying. Even when you’re tired, you just keep going.”

As a kid, the thought of even giving up was not an option because if my sister could figure out something, then surely I could too because I’m one year older than her. There was definitely a competitive element going on as kid.

I went back to my room (and bolster) kept trying and trying until I did feel something good. I experienced my first orgasm.

I didn’t know it was called the orgasm. I didn’t know what we were doing was masturbation. I didn’t know we were rubbing on the clitoris. I did not know any of these terms. But I knew it felt good.

More from YourTango: 4 Reasons Why Women Should Masturbate More Often

After some weeks, I began to become curious, even a tad worried, if what we were doing was dangerous because after all, I was still a kid. I don’t know whether this heart-beating and this flushing of blood within my body was good for me. I decided to ask my mom.

I planned it so I caught her at the right time. She was lying on the sofa watching TV, and then I lay on the floor next to her. She was just above me.

I asked her during a commercial break: “Hey mom. I want to show you something my sister taught me. I don’t know how to explain it. I need to show it to you.”

She nodded and I proceeded to demonstrate our unique masturbation technique to my mom.

To her credit, she said, “Oh that. It’s okay. It’s normal.”

Because of that one sentence, I felt relieved that it’s okay to feel pleasure and to continue masturbating.

She didn’t smack me on the head. She didn’t tell me to stop because I think if she had, I probably would have not knowing any better.

More from YourTango: Does Masturbation Count As Sex?

I’m sharing this story even though it is very personal because I want to help normalize masturbation. I don’t want you to think that because I’ve been masturbating since I was four or five, I’m over sexualized, and that’s why I became a sexologist.

No, I have just as little or as much sex education than a lot of my clients. The saving grace was that I caught up in the last seven years of my life, running my practice for the last five, and then having my training, the last two.

Masturbation has helped me to be a more empowered person even when I had no names for the act, no names for my body parts.

Learning about our bodies is a good thing. The more comfortable we are with our bodies and with our sexuality, the more we can learn and share it with our partners later on.

Subscribe to my three free videos I am releasing as part of Masturbation Month here!

Dr Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching in Singapore. She is a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists), as well as certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists). She holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality as well as certificates in practical†counseling, life coaching and sex therapy. She is available to provide sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conduct sexual education workshops and speak at public events in Asia and beyond. For more, visit www.ErosCoaching.com.

This article originally appeared on YourTango.com:†My Masturbation Story: I Got It Figured When I Was Five!.

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180 comments

+ add your own
2:33AM PDT on Aug 1, 2015

Sorry, I don't believe this fiction..8 or 9 years old maybe....4-5 years old no way...

10:10PM PDT on Jul 31, 2015

Next article, 15 surprising uses for bananas. LOL

9:38PM PDT on Jul 31, 2015

Your mother handled that perfectly. I started when I was 9 after seeing a late night Showtime flick and became very depressed for a time because I felt like I was not normal. I was very embarrassed to talk about it with my mother.

5:59AM PDT on Jul 17, 2015

Show us the video, by all means!!

6:26PM PDT on Jun 14, 2015

Tyvm

3:59PM PDT on May 31, 2015

ty

2:32AM PDT on May 12, 2015

sorry but describing 5 year old masturbating online to strangers is irresponsible and possibly encouraging paedophilia



8:20PM PDT on May 9, 2015

Surprising lack of updates given how often this appears as a C2 recommended article.

8:04AM PDT on Apr 24, 2015

Holy crap, you had a great mother. I had to deal with Catholic parents, horrible guilt, painful nightmares and debilitating shame until I came to the conclusion that they were full of shit. To borrow from Monty Python, not every sperm is sacred. Sure the Bible has a passage that says you shouldn't spill your seed on the ground. But it has a lot of other really screwed up stuff in there as well. All the time, energy, self hate, self-loathing, etc.. I've spent in my life regarding the bullshit I was taught is incredible. Just for something that is natural and common in every other mammalian species.
Thanks for the article. Well done.
We need more people like you everywhere. We'd have a lot less violence and wars if people were sexually healthy.

1:23PM PDT on Apr 23, 2015

Alrighty.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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people are talking

Thanks for the helpful tips.

Lots to think about.

Interesting article. thank you for caring and sharing.

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