Never Clear Your Clutter Without This Trick

“It seems like every single one of the women in my circle of friends has a thing they want to do, or a big change they want to make but we’re all just… stuck. Nobody is moving forward on anything.”

This is how we started my class this morning and I thought, “Oh, wow, here we go.” It was the first group call for the new lot of “Sick of Being Stuck” students and before I could even get the recording turned on, she offered that explanation for why she signed up. She divorced a few years ago, went back to school, and is now working her new field and raising her kids. She loves her much smaller house and lots of things are really great but…

She just feels stuck.

Her big thing is the paper. Another student tells us that it’s the basement packed to the brim with boxes filled with all manner of assorted whatnot that didn’t get tended in a recent move. She can’t bring herself to open even one box. Another student has a series of tiny little spaces–a room at home (sharing the rest of the space with roommates), a car, and a cubicle at the office. It’s a professional shift that she is here to cultivate.

It’s been six months since this program started and I continue to marvel at the wild varieties of people and issues that are popping up, which is nothing when compared to the similarities we’re uncovering. This experience is a remarkable. We’re all just the same.

We get stuck for the same reasons –people die, marriages end, kids come or leave, or perhaps it’s a health crisis. We have dreams for something new but can’t figure out how to fit it into our lives. We set goals but the sameness keeps pulling us back into the old ways of being. And after we’ve outgrown parts of our lives, sometimes we stay put and the stuff stacking up around us gets too sticky to make a move.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Debbie C.

4:02AM PST on Mar 1, 2012

If I clean out 1 drawer, by the time I get to the 2nd one, the 1st one is messed up again!!
Maybe it would work better if I pretend I am still in school and it was an assignment that I had to do one each day (LOL).

send a green star

Jane R.

2:27PM PST on Feb 24, 2012

Getting rid of 27 items in the closet would be difficult to do all at once!! I've gotten rid of a few things at a time. Things I've had for years, (clothes). Many hadn't been worn for years yet I couldn't part with them. I still have some I've never worn and the tags are still on them. One day, I'll do something with them.

Sarah M.

2:06PM PST on Feb 17, 2012

Thank you!

Jane W.

7:54AM PST on Feb 15, 2012

One of the reasons for such self-abasement after one's clutter clearing has been started - after just one drawer has been tidied up, for example - is because things look worse before they look better.
That has to almost become a mantra - in order to continue.

Jenna W.

7:37AM PST on Feb 11, 2012

awesome thanks!

Anna A.

3:51PM PST on Feb 10, 2012

thanks

Carl M.

6:16AM PST on Feb 10, 2012

We have to learn what we can from the past and then have the courage to let it go. Clinging to what was true yesterday cannot support us tomorrow. We have to learn to live now, in this moment.
This was the key in this article for me. :)
Carl Milson
www.atouchoflove.ca

Vero G.

1:13AM PST on Feb 10, 2012

Couldn't agree more, Christy. Dealing with clutter shows up the weaknesses of our culture: the all-or-nothing mentality, the soul-eating types of competitiveness and perfectionism. Why is it considered healthy or desirable to mentally abuse ourselves to the point that we're incapacitated? Why not just clean on drawer then celebrate what a relief and opening that is then move on to a bit of desk and celebrate how good that feels...?

As a business teacher, I often hear from ambitious professionals that contentment with what we've accomplished so far is "bad". No it's not. COMPLACENCY is bad. Contentment with a job well done is healthy and motivating, as Christy highlights here. Marcy's little "Yeah me!" is just what most of us need. Sometimes in a different way, but that mini celebration is the soul's equivalent of nourishing food. Holding onto symbols of the past that don't work for us anymore (living in the past), beating ourselves up with greed, jealousy or unreasonable plans (living in the future) is like trying to living on junk food. Yes you can get by for a while, but your soul is slowly starving. Fill yourself with healthy mini meals of joy, contentment in a job well done (no matter how small) and you'll have the energy to do another. And another...

Anne B.

4:47AM PST on Feb 8, 2012

Thanks! As I deal with mountains of clutter for my 91 year old mother I'll certainly keep this posting in mind...

heather g.

2:33AM PST on Feb 8, 2012

That's one of the better articles I've read about clutter. It must be helpful to meet as a group because it's helpful to learn and think about the reasons for one's behaviour. Starting with removing 27 items - that's setting a very high standard !