Nursing When They Can Ask For It

“Yeah, I’m fine with breastfeeding, as long as she’s not old enough to ask for it,” said the prospective nanny. I had just explained I would be working from home so I could nurse my baby.

Then, I was at a playgroup, and a mother announced that it was her son’s one-year birthday that day. She added a little wistfully, “so he had his last breastfeed last night.”

Yikes! Happy birthday, poor guy! At that point, my one-year-old was nowhere near weaning, and it was painful to imagine what she’d do if I cut off her “mama milk” supply.

Recently, however, my six-year-old witnessed a 4-year-old nursing and said, “Mommy, she’s too old to nurse. If she nurses now, she’ll still be nursing when she’s six! I did a bit of a double-take. While I did agree with her that it was unusual to see a 4-year-old nursing, I was very interested in the negative judgment implicit in my daughter’s comment. Especially because both my girls nursed well past the ‘asking for it’ phases of their lives — between 2 and 2.5 years each!

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Joe R.

3:40PM PST on Feb 3, 2012

An interesting thought.

send a green star

Danuta W.

2:14AM PST on Jan 14, 2012

Thanks for the info.

Romana G.

6:05AM PST on Jan 13, 2012

Not sure what normal is but I breastfed my two youngest ones well past one year and even 2 years (2.5 to be exact) and they are both now in school eager to learn and their skills are well above their grade level (fe. Reading on 5.4 grade level in 2nd grade and 2.8 in Kindergarten). My daughter who is now 16 and was also breastfed baby is in gifted education program, gold honor roll student and has received 2 presidential awards for academics along with her first Academic Letter for first year of HS. Needles to say that I don't think extended breast feeding harmed either one of them and I have learned how to fight my battles at that time. It's amazing how numb is our society to drugs, violence, explicit music, pornography etc. but issue of breast feeding keeps discussion threads going for years!

KS G.

12:35AM PDT on Aug 30, 2011

Thanks for the article.

Colin K.

9:53PM PDT on Aug 7, 2011

BRAVO! Raya!!

Sadly the 'divided you fall' of which you speak, is the cornerstone to our medical model of birth. Once the Mother/Baby dyad is put asunder from unnecessary interventions, c-sections along with iatrogenic and nosocomial ailments, damage and disorders, it takes a saint to breastfeed without pain and problems. Then out come the FREE samples of mind minimizers aka infant formula. Mark up one more for a lifetime of health issues to make a profitable pension plan for medical professionals.

The good news is that the more milk of human kindness and the closeness and skin to skin contact which comes with it …the more oxytocin courses through the veins of both Mom and Baby–the better...and the other good news is that a breastfed baby beats our North American norms of development and all milestones......training sooner...and I might add delicately: they smell so much more sweetly...speaking earlier... so they can ask for what they need...so much better than sad colicky cries of babies in pain... left alone to suck on stuff that can be made from all manner of things and corruptions...(Nestlé alone has had a number of recalls...glass...mould...rusted containers...and in China.. with ground melamine—thats what your cupboard doors are made of...and worse.)…not to mention the phalates in their bottles and nipples!

There hasn't been a recall to date on any of the elixir of life.

Oh!... and the benefits are many... and many are not ever lis

Raya B.

12:33PM PDT on Aug 7, 2011

Dr. Sears says "Breastmilk's influence on health is probably more far-reaching than researchers have even dared to imagine."

Why would we cease to supply our children, whose systems are still developing such an elixir of life? "This living biological fluid carries substances that are critical to the optimal development of many systems in the body."

The perverse and outmoded belief structures serve only to keep us in the dark ages and hinder the health and development of a generation to come. People who are offended and disgusted by something as beautiful and sacred as a mother feeding her child are displaying symptoms of classic projection, it is really themselves who they are disgusted by. This behavior is constantly encouraged by the barrage of both subliminal and obvious marketing strategies that assault our sensory perceptions on a daily basis. Consumerism feeds off of this by selling products and cosmetics to mask our humanity, to keep us isolated from nature and from each other. Divided we fall. The status quo fails to serve us as a species. Let us collapse and then restructure for a dawn of a new humanity.

Carole K.

10:52AM PDT on Aug 2, 2011

It's not completely my area of expertise ( see speech/ language developmental research); but those, whose professional training lie w/in early childhood development, well know that suck/swallow reflex & oral motor development in general is HIGHLY related to development of expressive language skills. Verbal abilities are totally dependent on oral musculature that supports & makes talking possible. Just ask anyone who has faced neurological or physical trauma to this area of the body & has had to undergo speech/language therapy to regain their ability to speak. Breastfeeding, because it exercises & promotes oral muscle development, also fosters the ability to talk in the process. On the other hand, sucking from a bottle might also do just as well in terms of the exercise factor; & the issues of breast feeding in public an older child (whose established oral motor development would already allow them to drink from a cup & eat solid food) are separate social considerations defined by the culture from which the people originate. This is simply a question of cultural relevance & definition. It depends on the society involved; & as in other social customs, practices in one society may (or may not) fit in another cultural setting. The old adage "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." applies here. The customs of one culture are not superior/ inferior to the customs of another. Your community norms determine the "correct" practice in such situations.

Hilary S.

9:54AM PDT on Aug 2, 2011

Tiffany - I just loved your comment. Yes, isn't it true that some children speak sooner, and it seems downright crazy to base a feeding choice on verbal prowess. It really shows just how unfamiliar our society still is with nursing that people would even relate these two things.

Tiffany D.

9:53AM PDT on May 18, 2011

I could sing my abc's at 9 months old (much younger than most, I know) so does that mean I should have been weaned at 9 months? Of course not! Breastfeeding needs to be pushed for healthier children. I agree that in other countries children are breastfed, and tandem breastfed, for many many years. There's a horrible trait about the USA--breastfeeding has been made into some unnatural, taboo act that needs to be done behind closed doors. Ridiculous. In others countries women dont even cover up--not even when being interviewed on camera. There no one thinks twice about it--its so natural. No one should be made to feel guilty about breastfeeding--especially in public. The more we hide it behind closed doors the more we send the message that its unnatural and unacceptable. Breastfeeding is natural and healthy. Let the child decide when he/she is ready to quit.

Robin H.

11:03PM PST on Feb 23, 2011

I think there just isn't a lot of support for breastfeeding mothers in general. I never had people be so openly rude to me as when I breastfed my son in public. Even though I kept well covered up and my son only breastfed until he was one (his choice) I had strangers give my hateful glares and even had people come up to me and say awful things. One manager at a WalMart even tried to get me to file legal action against an elderly man who tried to force me to "take it outside". I don't see how some people say they are being pressured to breastfeed when there are hardly any breastfeeding mothers left. In fact, when I had my son one of the nurses thought my colostrum was infection and advised me not to breastfeed. She worked with newborns everyday and didn't know what colostrum looked like?! I live in Kentucky and I can honestly say that I can count the number of breastfeeding women I've ever met on one hand. When I tell people I breastfed I hear a lot of crazy misinformation and women claiming they tried for a day but their breast just wouldn't make milk. I think America has just about forgotten every natural way of life.