6 Ways You Can Improve Your Sex Life
1. Research your pleasure. How can you expect your partner to know what pleases you if you don’t know yourself? Set aside private time to explore your own body on your own. If you don’t know what pleasures you, you’ll never get in touch with your desires. Take the time to discover what feels good! When I interviewed Regena Thomashauer, author of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts for my book, she said, “There’s a scene in the Julia Roberts movie Runaway Bride where someone asks her what kind of eggs she likes, but she doesn’t know. When she dated a guy who liked scrambled eggs, she ate scrambled eggs. When he liked fried eggs, she ate hers fried. When he liked hard-boiled, she ate hard-boiled. In one scene, she finally lines them up and tastes them all, so she can make a decision, independent of any man. You can run this kind of experiment with her own body. Taste. Touch. Experiment. Discover.”
2. Stop trying to be something you’re not and OWN who you are. If your Catholic guilt makes you think you should be the demure, quiet, Madonna wife but you’re really a freak who likes to get wild, OWN IT! If you partner wants you to dress up in a cheerleader uniform and you’re just not into it, say so. Bringing your authentic self into the bedroom will work wonders for your sex life.
3. Take responsibility for getting your needs met. If you’re still waiting for Prince Charming to show up and blow your mind, you might spend your whole life waiting. Get in touch with what you need and be creative about ways to have your needs met. One patient of mine is a vital sexual being in a loving, happy marriage who wasn’t getting all of her sexual needs met, so she joined an online forum and started secretly writing erotica on the internet. It fed the hungry part of her and brought new passion into the sex life she shared with her husband.