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Ooh La La – 6 Ways To Improve Your Sex Life

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6 Ways You Can Improve Your Sex Life

1. Research your pleasure. How can you expect your partner to know what pleases you if you don’t know yourself? Set aside private time to explore your own body on your own. If you don’t know what pleasures you, you’ll never get in touch with your desires. Take the time to discover what feels good! When I interviewed Regena Thomashauer, author of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts for my book, she said, “There’s a scene in the Julia Roberts movie Runaway Bride where someone asks her what kind of eggs she likes, but she doesn’t know. When she dated a guy who liked scrambled eggs, she ate scrambled eggs. When he liked fried eggs, she ate hers fried. When he liked hard-boiled, she ate hard-boiled. In one scene, she finally lines them up and tastes them all, so she can make a decision, independent of any man. You can run this kind of experiment with her own body. Taste. Touch. Experiment. Discover.”

2. Stop trying to be something you’re not and OWN who you are. If your Catholic guilt makes you think you should be the demure, quiet, Madonna wife but you’re really a freak who likes to get wild, OWN IT! If you partner wants you to dress up in a cheerleader uniform and you’re just not into it, say so. Bringing your authentic self into the bedroom will work wonders for your sex life.

3. Take responsibility for getting your needs met. If you’re still waiting for Prince Charming to show up and blow your mind, you might spend your whole life waiting. Get in touch with what you need and be creative about ways to have your needs met. One patient of mine is a vital sexual being in a loving, happy marriage who wasn’t getting all of her sexual needs met, so she joined an online forum and started secretly writing erotica on the internet. It fed the hungry part of her and brought new passion into the sex life she shared with her husband.

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Lissa Rankin

Lissa Rankin, MD is a mind-body medicine physician, founder of the Whole Health Medicine Institute training program for physicians and other health care providers, and the New York Times bestselling author of Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself.  She is on a grassroots mission to heal health care, while empowering you to heal yourself.  Lissa blogs at and also created two online communities - and She is also the author of two other books, a professional artist, an amateur ski bum, and an avid hiker. Lissa lives in the San Francisco Bay area with her husband and daughter.


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10:20PM PDT on Jun 26, 2014

YES! Research. Nothing beats good RESEARCH.

Research this:

It has definitely helped our relationship. It was originally intended to just spice things up a bit, but for me it has changed my whole outlook on sex. It used to be that it was all about his pleasure and now it is about mine too.
This thread is the best thing ever, cause in my 25 years of having sex I have never felt like this.
My relationship with my DH has changed for the better, we were always close, but now it's like we've hit a new level.
Thank you soooooo much! Not really sure how I found this site but I am so thankful. My husband tried this last night and these were the best orgasms I have ever had.
My husband tried this last night and this was the best orgasm I have ever had. ...
My sexual confidence grew, he loved doing it to me and seeing my reactions. Now we're having sex almost every night and I have an average of 8-10 orgasms a night.
We are in our 40s and thought we had one of the best sex lives out there but OH BOY were we wrong! We are REALLY enjoying it now, thanks to finding this thread.
I will have to say that is was way more intense than I ever imagined!! THANKS again!!!

8:43PM PDT on Mar 29, 2014

Interesting.Very interesting.One more for the teenage boys to discuss and chuckle about. .Dimitris I hope your luck changes soon.

12:31AM PST on Jan 2, 2014

Thank you :)

2:56AM PST on Nov 3, 2013

Ooh la la... I have to find a partner first :)

11:45AM PDT on Oct 26, 2013


7:14AM PDT on Oct 20, 2013

Over the past several years, my wife has been on a journey of sexual self-discovery. By not being jealous, I have found that I can enjoy her journey enormously. Although I never meant to be judgemental, I was still surprised at my positive response to watching her have sex with other men or women. Adn when she did so in a more private way, I enjoyed hearing what had pleased her during those encounters. Our own sex life has been enhanced to a degree I never thought would be possible.

8:12AM PDT on Sep 23, 2013


1:06AM PDT on Sep 14, 2013


6:55PM PDT on Jun 29, 2013

Bookmarking this one...

2:57AM PDT on Jun 21, 2013


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people are talking

They are popular here in London. I like them but they are pretty expensive. "Ordinary" fruit and veg…

Awesome work! That is quite appreciated. I hope you’ll get more success. Catherine A. Catherine A.
on Green Moving Guide
9 minutes ago

Good information. I go to the one in my area. Thanks


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