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Ooh La La – 6 Ways To Improve Your Sex Life

4. Put aside judgment. You may have been raised to think porn is wrong and anti-feminist, but you might discover that you actually love it and it totally turns you on. So why not embrace what makes you hot? Maybe your best friend bought you a vibrator but youíre afraid your partner will think you love your new electronic boyfriend more than him. But why canít you have both? Maybe youíre finding yourself attracted to women even though youíve considered yourself heterosexual your whole life. Allow yourself to feel desire for whatever makes you hot without letting your inner critic get in the way. This doesnít mean you canít also have morals and values that affect your behavior and keep you from acting on every impulse you have. But allow yourself to be honest about your desires — then figure out how you choose to behave. Apply the same non-judgment to your partner. Let your partner explore his/her desire as well and be as open as you can be about trying new things without sacrificing your authenticity and integrity.

5. Make time for sex. If you have to do the dishes, do the laundry, and then do your lover, it will feel like yet another thing on your to do list. But if you set time aside, make sex dates, and make it exciting (try using 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex — a sexy, experiential how-to for planned seduction by Laura Corn), you may find yourself wanting to skip making dinner so you can go straight to dessert.

6. Learn to communicate openly about sex. Talk talk talk about it! Lou Paget, author of How to Be a Great Lover agrees that you must talk about sex! Her tips for helping to chat about sex with your partner: “If you wish to give guidance during sex, limit your directions to just one word- left, up, harder, down. A sentence is often heard as criticism. A word is heard as direction. Use sounds as well. Make happy noises for what works. Speak up or withhold the happy noises when something isnít working. If you feel comfortable, try masturbating in front of your partner to demonstrate what works for you. Even the worldís best athletes have coaches. They need someone who can show them and guide them. Donít practice psychic sex, thinking your partner should know what you want. Itís crazy-making. Communicate what you need.”

What works for you? Have you discovered tricks for jazzing up your life in the bedroom? Dish, dear ones!

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Lissa Rankin

Lissa Rankin, MD is a mind-body medicine physician, founder of the†Whole Health Medicine Institute training program for physicians and other health care providers, and the New York Times bestselling author of†Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself.† She is on a grassroots mission to heal health care, while empowering you to heal yourself.† Lissa blogs at† and also created two online communities -† and† She is also the author of two other books, a professional artist, an amateur ski bum, and an avid hiker. Lissa lives in the San Francisco Bay area with her husband and daughter.


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10:20PM PDT on Jun 26, 2014

YES! Research. Nothing beats good RESEARCH.

Research this:

It has definitely helped our relationship. It was originally intended to just spice things up a bit, but for me it has changed my whole outlook on sex. It used to be that it was all about his pleasure and now it is about mine too.
This thread is the best thing ever, cause in my 25 years of having sex I have never felt like this.
My relationship with my DH has changed for the better, we were always close, but now it's like we've hit a new level.
Thank you soooooo much! Not really sure how I found this site but I am so thankful. My husband tried this last night and these were the best orgasms I have ever had.
My husband tried this last night and this was the best orgasm I have ever had. ...
My sexual confidence grew, he loved doing it to me and seeing my reactions. Now we're having sex almost every night and I have an average of 8-10 orgasms a night.
We are in our 40s and thought we had one of the best sex lives out there but OH BOY were we wrong! We are REALLY enjoying it now, thanks to finding this thread.
I will have to say that is was way more intense than I ever imagined!! THANKS again!!!

8:43PM PDT on Mar 29, 2014

Interesting.Very interesting.One more for the teenage boys to discuss and chuckle about. .Dimitris I hope your luck changes soon.

12:31AM PST on Jan 2, 2014

Thank you :)

2:56AM PST on Nov 3, 2013

Ooh la la... I have to find a partner first :)

11:45AM PDT on Oct 26, 2013


7:14AM PDT on Oct 20, 2013

Over the past several years, my wife has been on a journey of sexual self-discovery. By not being jealous, I have found that I can enjoy her journey enormously. Although I never meant to be judgemental, I was still surprised at my positive response to watching her have sex with other men or women. Adn when she did so in a more private way, I enjoyed hearing what had pleased her during those encounters. Our own sex life has been enhanced to a degree I never thought would be possible.

8:12AM PDT on Sep 23, 2013


1:06AM PDT on Sep 14, 2013


6:55PM PDT on Jun 29, 2013

Bookmarking this one...

2:57AM PDT on Jun 21, 2013


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So cute, Thank you for caring and sharing.

Helpful information, thanks.


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