In the article Thanking Outside the Box, I asked readers to look at hardship as a gateway to healing, and wrote about a young woman whose dog helped her face an embarrassing situation in her life. A Care 2 reader shared her experience with the article, and asked for assistance in working with the emotion she had uncovered. I’d like to address her request.
From an energetic perspective, the most important power we have is choice. We don’t have to know how to heal our emotion or situation, but we must choose to do so. Once we decide that we are willing to face our pain, help arrives. It may come in small doses, over time, but it will come.
Once we see the root cause of our pain, we can create healing for ourselves. Life was designed to be a duality. Each of us enters this world to meet a challenge. I call this our Spiritual Specialty. As we face this seemingly negative situation and overcome it, we create a healing energy for all beings. We literally help the evolution of the planet and all her creatures by living our lives to the best of our abilities.
Here are some tips that might offer assistance. You may also want to read other articles on Care2, especially in the area of spirituality. I have linked to several of them on the next page — all you have to do is click on the colored text.
Approach the Emotion in Real Time and Clarity Time
Real Time: As you choose to understand the negative emotion, look for the circumstances that trigger it. They are usually exhibited as a pattern that you have experienced over and over. When it occurs, stay as calm as you can and react differently! Reacting in anger and judgment only strengthens the pattern. Available material on Buddhist teachings and mindfulness training are extremely helpful in mastering this.
Clarity Time: Make quiet time a priority — even if it’s only for a few minutes. Do some deep breathing, take a walk, engage in prayer, or learn to meditate. As you calm yourself, ask for clarity surrounding the negative emotion or pattern. Think of something that is wonderful — your favorite pet, a child, or a great day at the beach. Once your body is feeling better, ask for the answer to reveal itself. It always will. The key is asking in an open-hearted, positive manner. It’s as if you had a cell phone connected to all the wisdom in the world – do you want an established network with thousands of people, or do you want the coverage that drops out in your own home? Asking while in the correct mindset gets the signal through clearly.
Clarity may reveal itself immediately as a memory or a thought that pops into your head. It may also come to you later when a friend hands you a book, or you are drawn to a website or television show. The key is to learn to be calm as much as possible, so the wisdom can come through. Again, teachings on mindfulness are very helpful.
What We Resist Persists
When you are in Clarity Time, negative feelings may arise. Don’t resist the emotions that come to you. In Lessons on Lessening Suffering in the Gulf, I described an energy technique that is helpful in facing difficult situations. This can be applied to any negative emotion that arises during your Clarity Time.
This can be difficult, because many of us are surrounded by negative drama. Don’t play! Every time we engage in drama, gossip, judgment, anger and victimization, we increase the negativity in our own life. We can start by choosing to live a positive life, one that is in alignment with our highest potential. It’s that simple. Nothing can change in our lives unless we decide it can. We can stay reactive beings – acting according to whatever positive or negative situations come our way – or we can choose differently. Will negative situations still show up? Of course they will. But each situation offers us a choice. We can be judgmental, a victim, or say woe is me, and strengthen the negative aspects of our lives. Or we can choose to learn from the situation, ask why it was created, and intend on a positive outcome.
Love Yourself and Speak Your Truth
This entire process is really about loving all aspects of ourselves – seeing our difficulties as a way to shift energy for each of us and all others. Beating ourselves up doesn’t help anything! This is about expressing and loving the positive aspects of who we are, even if we don’t “fit in” with those around us. It”s about sticking to our values and speaking our truth. This is not the same as imposing our opinions on everyone around us. Speaking our truth has no attachment to outcome. It doesn’t matter if people agree with us, and it’s not our job to convince them. That is ego driven. If we express who we are, be proud of who we are, and respect others for who they are, our paths will be much easier.
Enjoy the Process
This part is perhaps the hardest, because we are trained to see difficult situations as something being wrong. If we look at them as challenges that we spiritually came into this life to overcome, they take on new meaning. And if we understand that the only way we can heal a wound is by shifting the energy from negative to positive, then we are at peace with the fact that it has to show up! As a veterinarian, I know I can’t diagnose and heal a patient I’ve never met. Likewise, we can’t conquer our difficulties until we have the courage to face them.
Once we practice these techniques and continually shift the negative into the positive, we will be empowered to live the life we desire. Ultimately the negative situation doesn’t need to re-emerge. And during this process, if we can laugh at the situation when it returns, we really have mastered the art of living!