The thought of breaking up can be terrifying, but sometimes, it is for the best. If you find yourself at breaking point but cannot seem to let go, it might help to consider the following:
Admit that it is over. Don’t hang on to the fragile shreds of a relationship whose fabric has weakened beyond repair. Look at it this way—you are letting go of something into which you had invested a huge amount of your time, energy and emotion. Letting go will free them all up once again, giving you a definite point where you can start over.
Don‘t be afraid to cry. When a close bond breaks, there is bound to be pain. Denying yourself the freedom to express it can make it worse. A Harvard study found that those who bottle up their pain have a 140% higher risk of heart disease and 170% higher risk of cancer than those who share what they are feeling.
Identify what cheers you up, and then do more of it. Different things work for different people. Some find comfort in writing, others might turn to yoga. Still others get by with a little emotional help from their friends. Just don’t take comfort in high-calorie food, which might provide temporary solace, but can cause serious health and emotional problems in the long run.
Keep the positive, toss away the negative. There is little good in trying to pin the blame and harbor resentment. The truth is, it is over. You shared some beautiful times together, and those memories are worth holding on to. Also, let no one leave you feeling less than adequate.
Look at the larger picture. The breaking up of one relationship does not have to mean the end of the world, simply because it isn’t. Also, the end of an affair should not always be seen as a painful event—it is also part of the growth process. American poet Criss Jami put it in beautiful, positive words: “The harder you fall, the heavier your heart; the heavier your heart, the stronger you climb; the stronger you climb, the higher your pedestal.”