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Present Moment Pain

Present Moment Pain


“Perhaps everything terrible is in its being something that needs our love.” -Rainer Maria Rilke

The last few days have been marked by an acute and relentless pain in my upper back and neck. It has prevented me from most higher level thinking and has awakened in me a deep compassion for those who live with chronic pain, as well as a profound gratitude for our ability to heal. There is nothing like illness or injury to make you realize that our health and well-being is our most essential blessing. Just feeling fine in your body is a miracle — or it feels like one when I think about it today.

Pain reminds us that to take our body for granted is foolish and the most ridiculous kind of arrogance. Especially as I approach my 50th birthday, there is no hesitation for me to see my body as the temple of my existence. Pain separates the wheat from the chafe in our thoughts; there simply isn’t enough room for unnecessary anxiety or negative distractions. Simply working with the physical cues and generating enough self-healing compassion is almost a full time activity when you are experiencing pain.

Rest is no longer a moral obligation, it is just the truth of it. I reflect on my habitual overdoing and worse still, relentless trying, and know that my next decades have to be lifted and aided by the ease and grace of finding flow. It is not about working harder, it is cultivating internal clarity that makes the doing effortless, or so I hear. These last days, the message is loud and clear in my shoulders.

I am grateful to have these forced moments of stillness. I am grateful for a quiet place to feel my own pain and take the time to care for myself. All the doing and aspiring sits down for a rest and I lean to the place of being. Pain brings you to your proverbial knees and I realize how many blessings of well-being go by that I don’t even pay attention to.

Our attention is everything. What we focus on shifts and transforms. Attending fully to others or yourself is what love is made of, it is the fuel for our heart’s capacity to open. The thought patterns that consume us work the same way in the body, but watching them with our full and tender attention is the cure. Just don’t expect it to be overnight. Like the mess of our politics, it takes the same amount of time to unwind as it did to wind it up.

Learning patience with pain is how we develop courage. As we allow ourselves to witness the discomfort we realize how strong we are. We learn the edges of our tolerance and gently get challenged to expand them. This is the lifelong process of growing up, growing older. Living in the humble presence of my body’s most powerful language, I bend and wait for the healing that I know is in me.

Embracing Rest
Gratitude Trumps Fear
Importance of Self-Compassion

Read more: Guidance, Health, Inspiration, Spirit, Wendy's Positivity Quest

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


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6:17PM PDT on May 15, 2013


3:47AM PDT on May 15, 2013

Another helpful article. Thanks for sharing.

1:11AM PST on Mar 4, 2012

Primary Menstrual Cramps can be a debilitating problem for some 10% of women. Conventional treatment can even be as drastic as exploratory surgery whilst looking for a cure. A less intrusive solution is available. Orgasm from masturbation has been found to relieve the painful symptoms of menstrual cramps. Whilst it is not always convenient to masturbate for the necessary five minutes until the pain subsides, hands free masturbation is still possible. In order to do this one simply has to clench and then relax the vagina repeatedly for five minutes. With this method no one need know of the discomfort being suffered, and the pain soon goes. 'Hands Free' brings the pain of natural childbirth down to that of a bad tooth ache.

Do not try this whilst driving or operating heavy machinery.

9:35PM PST on Mar 3, 2012

as we grow older, our body parts wear out no matter how active we try to be. i always said it was like an old car, too many miles, rough roads traveled, breakdowns.keep trying to fix them

5:29PM PST on Mar 3, 2012

Thank you and I will try to slow down and take it easy today...

5:13PM PST on Mar 3, 2012

"Learning patience with pain is how we develop courage."

No, patiently waiting for pain to go away does not develop courage. Courage is finding out the "cause" of the pain and doing something about it. Courage is "fighting", not wishing, hoping and "waiting".

5:03PM PST on Mar 3, 2012


4:07PM PST on Mar 3, 2012

This to shall pass, if I'm ever in pain I meditate on these words.

2:00PM PST on Mar 3, 2012

thanks, some good reminders here. sent it to a few chronic pained friends. thanks :)

1:00PM PST on Mar 3, 2012

Thanks for the thoughts.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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Oh please, not another diet!!

I am still smiling......

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