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Questions to Help Caregivers

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Questions to Help Caregivers

By Holly Whiteside,

It is said that the two Chinese characters for “crisis” mean both “danger” and “opportunity”. When a life event like caregiving lands like a bomb, it initially feels more like the danger element. However, by asking the right questions, the derailment can put you on a powerful new path of opportunity. For me at age 43, the bomb was when my mother, who I had been avoiding since I was 14, came to live near me. The quality of my questions were suddenly critical to my emotional survival.

Why Listening Is the Caregiver’s Secret Weapon

As I moved into the terrain of caregiving, the questions that fueled my survival and personal growth evolved from, “To what am I committed?” and “How can I give without giving myself away?” to “What is the source of my energy and peace?” and then “What would be available to me if I opened my heart to my mother?” Those four little questions point to a broad range of experiences. I answered them by applying to myself the life coaching principles that I had been learning and teaching others as a life coach. By the end of my decade with Mom, we had forged a loving relationship.

After Mom died, I asked two questions, “Who am I if I am not a caregiver?” and “Can what I have learned about thriving during caregiving be of some use to others?”

I documented the principles that had kept me sane and tested them out by coaching other caregivers. Then I wrote “The Caregiver’s Compass”, a handbook of simple tools for gaining greater emotional and life balance, with the intent of helping the reader to discover their own positive experience.

20 Questions to Ask Your Parents

So, what are the questions that a mindful caregiver might ask in order to be more peaceful as well as more effective? Here are a few of the more fundamental ones.

Question to Help Find Emotional Balance
Stop Self-Destructive Behavior: Binging, Abuse or Over-indulging
Bringing Out Your Inner Optimist

Questions to Help Mindful Caregivers to Find Emotional Balance originally appeared on

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2:17AM PST on Jan 25, 2012

I asked some of these questions when I was taking care of my mom who had Alzheimer's. It was a hard lesson and a learning experience.

3:57AM PST on Jan 18, 2012


3:56AM PST on Jan 18, 2012


2:34AM PST on Jan 17, 2012


8:29AM PST on Jan 16, 2012


8:04PM PST on Jan 15, 2012

Good stuff. Thanks.

5:44AM PST on Jan 15, 2012


questions formulated by "access consciousness by rikka zimmerman" may help too -
e.g asking yourself "how can it get any better than this?"

its a series of questions (like the sedona method asks questions to clear blocks, this may help too). its not so much a spiritual practice, therefore spiritual practice is still important to continue too

3:21AM PST on Jan 15, 2012

thank you

12:36AM PST on Jan 15, 2012

Spousal Caregivers are also overlooked, I have been caring for my spouse of over 39 years for over 10 years with her getting constantly worse, it is very heart wrenching to see the love of your life go down hill like this. I would hope there would be more information for spousal caregivers to be able to cope in the future.

5:51PM PST on Jan 14, 2012

Ah yes. Very good questions. I ask myself many of these and the answers are sometimes a part of a painful process to understand why my reactions are not what I'd really like them to be.
The 'little ego' has it's buttons pushed often and who can do it better than parents!

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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Thanks for the tips, I have a good memory and very alert, my brain has been well cared for.

Great tips! Thank you so much for sharing :)


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