7. Allergies are to your family as:
A. Fur is to a hairless cat.
B. Ketchup is to eggs (works for some, not for others).
C. Wet is to a dog’s nose.
8. You and your partner of two years just parted ways, and your friend suggests adopting a dog to ease a broken heart. You:
A. Remind yourself that your next main squeeze could have a pet allergy and volunteer at a local shelter instead.
B. Take the long way home past the dog park to scope out like-minded potential mates.
C. Head straight to Petfinder.com and surf for cuddly cuties. A new pet is as good as a tub of ice cream.
9. When you look outside your window, you see:
A. A sprawling backyard, white fence and all.
B. Your neighbor’s brick wall.
C. What window? I live in a box.
10. The most fitting Halloween costume for you would be:
A. A washed-up nightclub singer—you do the same gig night after night.
B. An ambulance driver. Your hours are set, but when you’re on, you’re moving.
C. A cowboy. You’re only at home when roaming from town to town.
Mostly As: Congratulations! You are ready to adopt. Run, don’t walk, to your nearest shelter. Karen Okura of the Anti-Cruelty Society in Chicago describes you, the responsible adopter, as someone “with the patience of a saint” who acknowledges that an animal has his or her own culture and who strives to understand that culture. You have realistic expectations of your future animal companion’s behavior and also have the time, money, and energy for permanent pet parenthood.
Mostly Bs: Permanent pet guardianship is not for you at this time. Consider being a foster parent or adopting a lower-maintenance pet, such as a guinea pig or a lizard. Okura recommends volunteering at your local shelter or rescue.
Mostly Cs: Don’t even sneeze in the direction of a shelter right now—go straight to puppy cam. According to Okura, you fall into this category if you think that having a pet will fill a void in your life. The decision to adopt a pet needs to be based on more than emotion. All pets are an investment of time and money as well as love.