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Reclaiming the Fun of It

Reclaiming the Fun of It

If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right. –Bob Basso

This is one of the most challenging parts of positivity for me to keep my eye on,  the fun quotient. I forget often about having fun and worse still fall out of touch with just the fact that the whole point of life should be fun. I don’t know why being so serious seems so much more adult to me,  or if it just a bad habit, but truly between the weight of the daily news and the mountain that lies in front of me called book distribution, my days have been missing the fun.

Here is the thing about fun that I think confuses me and is really well articulated by Bernie DeKoven, who is a fun coach,  which seems like a slam dunk for a fun job. In my contemplating the lack of fun I am having on this journey recently, I came across some of his sage advice about lowering the threshold on fun. He goes on to describe the extreme fun that people have on tv commercials all the time and the ordinary fun that doesn’t get a lot of attention.

While there is a major thrill in extreme fun, which can be so risky that just surviving it makes it incredibly fun,  it seems to me that the stuff of ordinary fun,  of taking note and consciously experiencing pleasure from the small interactions during the days of life are  always available, but often overlooked. Bernie wrote: “Ordinary fun is the chewing gum kind of fun, even the washing dishes kind of fun that comes with the warm water and emerging sparkle and the meditation-like expanse of timelessness that ends when the sink is empty.” Reading this, the first thing that comes to mind for me  is some chococate mint ice cream gum my 12 year old daughter Emma, exclaimed over this morning. Had I been out for fun, I would have tried a piece, if only to verify that gum can be creamy.

There really is a lot to laugh at in life.  Political life can actually be almost as funny as it is depressing.  There are some great New Yorker magazine cartoons that husband laughs out loud for minutes at a time. Lately though I am all about the doom and gloom- no money for schools,  women setting themselves on fire,  brutality and violence in the middle of sports, cities…. Not very positive.   I think I need to watch more comedy central.  Jon Stewart can make almost anything funny, which is one very sane way to take the news seriously.

Besides all the health benefits that people who have more fun enjoy,  it is also really good for your relationship. Victor Borge said rightly that “laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” Really except for a shared crying jag, which is kind of rare anyway,  a seriously hearty laugh, the kind that almost makes you cry is probably one of the most intimate memories you can share with someone.

It is easy for me to forget that really life is a game and that there is no place to get to, no winning or losing.  I am grateful to be reminded by a pro fun coach that the fun is there to be recaptured, in little things like the dogs running in circles, or finding the perfect leaf fall at your feet, or hugging your child.  I want to have more fun, maybe that should be the next quest…. At the very least, I am going to try to make sure that everyday of this remaining quest has at least one fun check in.  Really how positive can you be if you aren’t having fun?

Read more: Inspiration, Love, Mental Wellness, Relationships, Spirit, Wendy's Positivity Quest,

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


+ add your own
8:44PM PDT on Apr 4, 2011

Thanks. :)

9:16PM PST on Nov 23, 2010

The author reminds us not to take ourselves too seriously. It is like there could be joy in just about anything we do in life. Putting a little humor, sense of accomplishment even in the small things that we do in our daily getting someone to smile for something we have done, or said...just making sure that with our actions we have made a positive impact in the world.

1:10AM PST on Nov 19, 2010

Fun is vital. Let's have more of it.

11:21PM PST on Nov 17, 2010

life is fun. we should all have joy in our lives, every day. we see a lot of horror and depravity on care2, which is why i find it so very important to experience joy every day. we need to remain focused on our tasks here but also take care of ourselves and protect ourselves from becoming over burdened.

9:54PM PST on Nov 17, 2010

nice article thanks

5:49AM PST on Nov 17, 2010

thanks for the article.

4:59AM PST on Nov 17, 2010

It is been many years since I got shit on by a bird. Around here they mostly shit on the porch railing. I suppose I really ought to make some effort to clean up after them.

11:10AM PST on Nov 16, 2010

Making dinner with my husband and daughter participating.

9:30AM PST on Nov 16, 2010

Great article, and very true:) It seems that for many people seriousness represents a sort of stability:)) Fun definitely makes everything way easier. I can't help laughing when I fall or spill something on my clothes, or a bird shits on me (we're living at the ocean now and the birds know how to shit, believe me!:))) And of course, I can't help laughing when the same happens to others. Though.. others mostly get very upset about such happenings. I know very well that one can never feel more shitty than feeling shitty after being shitted by a bird:))))

9:19AM PST on Nov 16, 2010

thanks for the info. The photo of the roller coaster hit home . Must find those simple joys again.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

people are talking

Good to know. Love the pic.

Thank you for warning us about these things.

Adorable and cute. Thanks.

I wish I could still ride a bike but I don't trust my balance, and if I end up on the ground I will …


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