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5 Relationship Resolutions to Make in 2013

5 Relationship Resolutions to Make in 2013

New Year’s Eve is just around the corner, which means a lot of us are busy making our resolutions for the new year. This year, use the fresh start to add some positive habits…and make your relationship stronger and better than ever.

 

1. Start every day with a compliment. Everyone likes to feel appreciated in a relationship—and at one point or another, everyone feels like their partner isn’t appreciating all that they do. So start every day by complimenting or thanking your significant other—thank them for making breakfast so you can sleep in a little, tell them they look great in a new outfit, let them know you’re proud of them for getting up early for the morning yoga class. Your partner will start the day feeling loved and appreciated, and those warm and fuzzy feelings will come right back to you.

 

2. Get the most out of quality time together. Before tackling the logistics of when to spend more quality time together, you first need to define what you and your partner consider “quality time” to be. Sound obvious? Not always—you may look forward to spending your Friday night cuddled up on the couch with a movie, but your partner may need a more engaging activity to feel like they’re connecting with you. Talk to your significant other about what you both want more of—uninterrupted, TV-free conversation over dinner? A fun board game? A walk around the park together?.

 

3. Schedule a date night. Now that you’ve figured out how you want to spend your quality time together, schedule it. Just like any other to-do on your calendar, from your kid’s soccer game to the PTA meeting, make quality time a priority, not something you do if you find yourself with a few hours to kill every few months. Take turns planning date nights every week (or whatever frequency you agree on), put it on the calendar, and stick to it.

 

4. Make your sex life a priority. It takes two to tango, both of you need to be on board when it comes to making your sex life better—and that means telling each other what you want to change. Talk specifics and frame them in a positive way—instead of saying “You’re never in the mood for a spontaneous quickie,” try pointing out something your partner does that you appreciate: “I love when you surprise me by hopping the shower with me. How about we do that this Saturday when we’re not rushed to get ready for work?”

 

5. Hug at least once a day. Did you know it only takes 20 seconds of hugging to start the flow of oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone”? The release of oxytocin makes partners feel connected and loved. However, the average hug only lasts three seconds. In 2013, resolve to hug it out—hold your partner tight for at least 20 seconds each day. Just leave the calendar and kitchen timer out of it this time—surprise them with a lingering hug when they walk in the door after work, reach over for a squeeze while you’re grocery shopping, or wrap your arms around them first thing in the morning.

Read more: Dating, Love, Relationships, Sex

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Diana Vilibert

Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer living in Brooklyn. You can be blog-friends with her at dianavilibert.com, or tweet her at @dianavilibert.

55 comments

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6:23PM PST on Jan 3, 2013

thanks for sharing!

5:11PM PST on Jan 3, 2013

Thank you for this wonderful article. I will make the suggested resolutions for 2013. Making our partners happy deepens this most important connection in our lives.. Is there anything more important than giving and receiving joy and expressing love with the special person whom we hold in our hearts?

4:49PM PST on Jan 3, 2013

6. Schedule time when you can n o t be together instead of 3. You later have much more to talk to each other and let your partner take part in what happened to you in the meantime.

10:51PM PST on Jan 2, 2013

i like these resolutions

2:43AM PST on Jan 1, 2013

Thanks Diana for sharing this very interesting article.Good suggestions

12:34AM PST on Jan 1, 2013

Great ideas! I am sure the 3 couples I mentioned in another post do exactly what is written. Sometimes I hear that couples are or have been on a Date night dinner out and the kids...grown up think its ' cute' and accept that this is their time to themselves.

I dont think cuddles or hugs are just for couples they are also for friends n family and some times people you know but not that close too.

You would be surprised those who get hugs/cuddles that people who dont have a partner or children/g/ children etc ever get cuddles or hugs. A simple thing to do where you can exchange energies and boost lagging ones to feel appreciated . However I do know there are some who dislike hugs etc or being touched which is a foreign feeling to me as I do heaps of hugs.
Hugs for people with disabilities really does change their energies I began doing this 2 years ago bc I saw that they were looking pretty sad. So I decided to do a bit of tactile -ing and sensed some liked to be side hugged as I call it bc they are in wheelchairs while others might have felt uncomfortable so I held their hand and did eye contact and smiled a lot. With each they responded. Now on a weekly basis and perhaps to see if they really do love to hug, I will not do it and they will come to me for a side hug or cuddle and a hand holding session, Amazing how this changed the dynamics of the group.

Transfer this to your partner/spouse and wow amazing things will happen and tell them sincerely how you appreciate

8:52PM PST on Dec 31, 2012

A good article, thanks.

3:26AM PST on Dec 31, 2012

Finally, resolutions that are fun to do.

@James M. ~ I wish it for you too!

2:06AM PST on Dec 31, 2012

like

2:39PM PST on Dec 30, 2012

Good practical tips. I like the emphasis on practical actions.

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