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Rethinking the 5 Top Libido Killers

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Rethinking the 5 Top Libido Killers

Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to reverence life until we know how to understand sex. –Henry Ellis

Who doesn’t want a healthy and satisfying sex life? And yet, a substantial and growing percentage of people struggle with low libido and sexual dysfunction issues. Overcoming this challenge in order to benefit from the many emotional and physical benefits of lovemaking should be on the top of your list when you consider that hundreds of major medical studies correlate an active sex life with a longer life, better heart health, a healthier immune response, reduction in chronic pain symptoms, lower rates of depression and even protection against some cancers.

Identifying the top 5 libido killers is a good way to get on track to finding healthy ways to build healthy mental and physical habits to revitalize the passionate side of your life.

1. Relationship Problems
Probably the biggest single libido killer is unresolved emotional problems with a partner.  Many people do not understand and respect the power of good communication in feeding a fire in a relationship. Showing up in meaningful emotional ways opens the door, literally, to the vulnerability and safety that intimacy thrives on. Building positive thoughts about your partner and your life is the foundation that can hold a passionate life.

Related: Four Ways to Increase the Love

2. Stress and Not Enough Sleep
Passion does not thrive without relaxation. If sex is another thing on your list to get done, this might be a clue as to why you aren’t in the mood. Giving yourself the time and space to open up with your partner also means that you agree to set aside the other stressful commitments that keep you distant.  As stress levels climb, from overwork, over worry and not enough resources to meet your needs, our lifestyle suffers. Our sex lives often bear the brunt of our stress. Coupled with the lack of sleep that most of us build our lives around, the combination of stressed and exhausted is not very sexy. Even if you had a healthy libido, you wouldn’t have enough energy to find it.

Related: What’s Your Sleep IQ (Quiz)

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Read more: Ask the Loveologist, General Health, Health, Love, Relationships, Sex, Sexual Health, ,

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


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5:28PM PDT on Sep 18, 2012

Good points.

10:24PM PDT on Aug 28, 2012

बहुत बढिया

9:46PM PDT on Aug 21, 2012

Interesting. It does make a lot of sense. I believe the body image part is huge. With the media surrounding us the way they do it's hard to feel sexy when you don't feel good about yourself.

8:52PM PDT on Aug 21, 2012

You forgot halitosis, Wendy :)

8:42PM PDT on Aug 21, 2012

You are welcome Mandi.

9:43AM PDT on Aug 17, 2012

Thank you

9:38AM PDT on Aug 17, 2012

The number one libido killer for me, hands down, is very poor hygiene. I guest that should be quite obvious to us all, but you'd be surprised.

I don't care what a woman looks like or how well she's shaped, if she's not clean or if those pubics are completely out of control down there, my tire will NOT inflate at all.

On the other hand. No matter what a woman looks like or how she's shaped, if she's very immaculate and very confident without being vain or arrogant, she's sexy. That's the number one libido rush for me!

1:37AM PDT on Aug 12, 2012

Interesting article.

7:53PM PST on Nov 21, 2011

Don't worry over-much about whether you enjoy it or not and how much... but make sure, do your best, to see that your partner enjoys it.

5:39PM PDT on Oct 8, 2011

Thanks Wendy,

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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