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Rethinking the 5 Top Libido Killers

3. Obesity and Body Image

The United States has one of the highest obesity rates in the world. It is directly correlated to lack of sexual desire and poor sexual performance. Among the many health reasons to re-think your eating and exercise habits is the toll that excess weight takes on your body image and libido. If your weight keeps you from moving easily in your body, how can you find the space to be loved?† Body image problems are not limited only to being overweight. Many men suffer from fears of inadequacy about the size of their penis, as women do the size of their breasts. Our libido starts in our brains: the sexiest part of our body. Committing to the work of loving your body is the first step to a life of sexual pleasure.

Related: 10 Things I’d Like to Tell My Younger Self

4. Medical Issues and Medications
Many medical issues associated with low libido are treatable and actually may be associated with other more serious health concerns. Erectile Dysfunction and hormonal issues for both men and women, which affect sex drive, deserves attention from a doctor you can talk to and trust. Likewise, if you believe that some of the medications you are taking are negatively impacting your libido, ask your health care provider about other options. Loss of libido is commonly associated with medications including antidepressants, antihistamines, blood pressure drugs, oral contraceptives, anti-HIV drugs, synthetic progesterone, and chemotherapy.

Related: Rediscovering Your Sexuality

5. Alcohol, Drugs and Depression
Although we often associate partying with a heightened sense of libido, if you always require a couple of drinks or other recreational drugs before you can get in the mood for sex, there might be other issues with your sex life. While recreational use of alcohol and other drugs are commonly used as an aphrodisiac to break down barriers and inhibitions before sex, if used long term and habitually, what you might be doing is numbing yourself and your ability to respond sexually. Drunk sex is generally not satisfying sex, and when under the influence of other substances, we often miss the best part of what it feels like to open up our sexuality. I mention depression here, because recreational drugs are often used to self-medicate problems that deserve a trained professional ear.

Although all of these issues can feel insurmountable when you are facing them and often they come in pairs, which can make the situation feel hopeless. Getting the help you need and prioritizing life changes that help you to make small steps towards finding solutions is the process that changes lives. Donít give up on your sex life; it is one of the most mysterious and satisfying aspects of being human.

Related: 7 Libido Boosters from Around the World, Where Did My Libido Go?

Read more: Ask the Loveologist, General Health, Health, Love, Relationships, Sex, Sexual Health, ,

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.† In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,† she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative advice.†It has been called "the essential guide for relationships." †The book is available on ebook.† Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


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5:28PM PDT on Sep 18, 2012

Good points.

10:24PM PDT on Aug 28, 2012

बहुत बढिया

9:46PM PDT on Aug 21, 2012

Interesting. It does make a lot of sense. I believe the body image part is huge. With the media surrounding us the way they do it's hard to feel sexy when you don't feel good about yourself.

8:52PM PDT on Aug 21, 2012

You forgot halitosis, Wendy :)

8:42PM PDT on Aug 21, 2012

You are welcome Mandi.

9:43AM PDT on Aug 17, 2012

Thank you

9:38AM PDT on Aug 17, 2012

The number one libido killer for me, hands down, is very poor hygiene. I guest that should be quite obvious to us all, but you'd be surprised.

I don't care what a woman looks like or how well she's shaped, if she's not clean or if those pubics are completely out of control down there, my tire will NOT inflate at all.

On the other hand. No matter what a woman looks like or how she's shaped, if she's very immaculate and very confident without being vain or arrogant, she's sexy. That's the number one libido rush for me!

1:37AM PDT on Aug 12, 2012

Interesting article.

7:53PM PST on Nov 21, 2011

Don't worry over-much about whether you enjoy it or not and how much... but make sure, do your best, to see that your partner enjoys it.

5:39PM PDT on Oct 8, 2011

Thanks Wendy,

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