It is a piece of cake to deactivate your fears of love. All you have to do to defuse
fearful thoughts is to look at them squarely and recognize that they arenít true. Finding the fears that prevent you from freely giving and receiving love may involve some work, but it brings tremendous rewards. For one thing, as you express more unconditional acceptance, youíll actually become much more attractive! After all, love is the most attractive thing in the universe.
Learn from these guidelines how to actualize a soulmate relationship:
It isnít even necessary to deny that there is any truth to your fears of love. All you really have to do is recognize that negative stereotypes are only generalizations, and that no generalization applies to everyone.
For example, thereís no harm in believing that some men are dishonest, or that some women care about nothing but money, as long as you mentally emphasize the point that they arenít all like that. This allows you to expect the best from the people you meet, and shifts your mental focus from your fears to the positive qualities you want to attract into your experience.
As you “let your light shine,” the men and women you meet will pick up on the fact that you genuinely respect, trust, and appreciate people like them, and theyíll hasten to return the favor.
Guidelines for Actualizing a Soulmate Relationship:
1. If loves seems to be avoiding you, consider the possibility that you may actually be avoiding it.
2. Actively search out your own sources of ambivalence so you can act, and not merely react.
3. Explore the things that annoy, depress, or infuriate you about the gender that attracts you, and consider the possibility that you are over generalizing.
4. Attack your fear, not your partner.
Adapted from Soulmates, by Carolyn Godschild Miller (New World Library, 2000). Copyright (c) 2000 by Carolyn Godschild Miller. Reprinted by permission of New World Library.
Adapted from Soulmates, by Carolyn Godschild Miller (New World Library, 2000).