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Sacred Friendship

Sacred Friendship

A deep friendship can be one of the most satisfying and sacred of relationships. But how to go about creating one? What is the key to creating the “heaven on earth” that is a sacred friendship?

Find out here:

When we let go of striving for the perfect, archetypal friendship and just practice being a friend, we discover it is not about finding friendship; it is about being a friend.

Whenever we are unconditionally present, the friend before us feels affirmed, safe, and seen on the deepest level so that the goodness and authenticity of his or her being shines forth. In this moment the friendship is a sacred connection. And it flows both ways: when we are living from our own depth, everything and everyone is experienced as real, not as an interpretation or idealized image. We also become more forgiving as we accept our failings. We experience in lifelong friendships a compassionate acceptance of each other’s longtime flaws.

A movement into intimacy reveals imperfections as well as strengths. Though we may seek supportive and nurturing relations, the closer we become with someone, the more or disturbing, difficult, and dissatisfying traits are revealed. But here is where we meet depth and emotional closeness. Sacred friendship is a way of being, an intimacy with oneself and the world that invites the presence of another into that space.

Within the wide embrace of sacred friendship, acceptance and forgiveness are what make real intimacy possible. Intimacy rests in the simplicity of being fully present, responsive to what is there in the moment, with no agenda or anticipation. By fully being in the moment we are there in just the right way. We rediscover the mystery of who we are through this interchange of opening and surrender. Such friendships create heaven on earth.

Read more: Spirit, Inspiration

Adapted from an essay by Steven Smith in Voices of Insight, edited by Susan Salzburg (Shambhala, 1999). Copyright (c) 1999 by Susan Salzberg. Reprinted by permission of Shambhala.
Adapted from an essay by Steven Smith in Voices of Insight, edited by Susan Salzburg (Shambhala, 1999).

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Annie B. Bond

Annie is a renowned expert in non-toxic and green living. She was named one of the top 20 environmental leaders by Body and Soul Magazine and "the foremost expert on green living." - Body & Soul Magazine, 2009. Learn Annie's latest eco-friendly news on anniebbond.com, a website dedicated to healthy and green living.

Go to the Source

Voices of Insight

Teachers of Buddhism in the West share their wisdom, stories,and experiences of insight meditation.buy now

23 comments

+ add your own
8:21AM PDT on Apr 28, 2013

good reminders

6:02AM PDT on Mar 16, 2013

Thank you

3:22AM PDT on Mar 15, 2013

Thank you :)

6:55AM PDT on Mar 14, 2013

We're all blessed with friends

4:47AM PDT on Mar 14, 2013

Lovely article.

1:32AM PDT on Oct 16, 2012

Thank-you for the article. I think one of the most important points mentioned is 'unconditionally'. There's a responsibility in maintaining a friendship & part of that is just being a friend, no strings attached. The only way to have a friend is to be one. Unfortunately there are those who just don't have a clue.

1:31AM PDT on Oct 16, 2012

Thank-you for the article. I think one of the most important points mentioned is 'unconditionally'. There's a responsibility in maintaining a friendship & part of that is just being a friend, no strings attached. The only way to have a friend is to be one. Unfortunately there are those who just don't have a clue.

5:41AM PDT on Aug 7, 2012

thanks for sharing

7:22PM PDT on Jul 9, 2012

The beautiful mystery of connection.... perhaps the nity-grity of what "Life" all about....!

7:13PM PDT on Apr 29, 2012

Unconditionality!!!

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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