Sacred Sex

We are a society that is starved for deep and meaningful love. Sex seems to be the stand-in for intimacy. Somewhere between little girls who dream of a fairy tale romance and little boys that are raised to deny their emotional selves, we’ve created a monster—sex. A person doesn’t have to look very far to see the relics of our collective consciousness.

Sex appears everywhere: television commercials, movies, newspapers, and billboards line their messages with naked or mostly-naked bodies (mostly women’s) that have been buffed up, made up, and touched up. The hemlines of many a woman seems to get shorter in a desperate attempt to get attention while many young (and not so young) men still actively gawk at, sexually harass, or exploit women.

It seems to me that these blatant displays of sex and sexuality are really people who are “looking for love in all the wrong places.” I should know. As a child model who learned by watching the models around her of the supposed importance of perfect skin, perfect hair, and a perfect body, I bought into the notion that “pretty” girls are happier and attract their Prince Charming. They live happily ever after, and of course, that includes the perfect sex life.

I learned much later in life that attractiveness is subjective and just because the media and fashion industry attempt to sell a particular look as attractive, doesn’t make it so…and certainly not to everyone. As I grew into a short, curvy woman with black wildly curly hair, I questioned whether I would ever find the man of my dreams, or whether the man of my dreams would be attracted to me. After all, I had observed tall, skinny, blonde models glorified as goddesses. Little did I know that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder, not the brainwashing to which we are socially-subjected. Later, when I confessed to the man of my dreams that I thought he could be with anyone he wanted–a tall, thin blonde perhaps–he laughed and said, “I’m a tall thin blonde why would I want more of that?” He was attracted to the combination of my characteristics: physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.

Most people accept society’s notion of “love” as this superficial display of sex and bodies that surrounded them at every turn. I awoke one day from this pervasive fog and realized that there was only one way to have a deep and meaningful, loving relationship that is full of intimacy—by learning to love and respect oneself. For me, that journey included boycotting women’s fashion magazines and avoiding movies that degrade women or portray them as sex objects.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Adelaide B.

1:58AM PDT on Aug 24, 2012

Very true, but when you aren't in a relationship or even considering being in one for the time being, then sex for the sake of sex comes in to play. Sometimes toys just won't do...

August 24
send a green star

Kathy P.

7:43PM PDT on Jun 18, 2012

i am glad I found my prince charming

June 18
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Debra A.

1:22PM PDT on May 28, 2012

Sacred sex is real. Once you have experienced sacred sex you will no longer want just sex. Without it a relationship is lacking real love. Sex is just animalistic or treating each other as sex objects. Just my opinion after working with hundreds of people and couples in therapy.

May 28
send a green star

Deb L.

3:49AM PDT on May 10, 2012

I agree with Abbe A.: "Start with the sacred and add the sex" Each has its' own wonderful qualities and rewards!

May 10
send a green star

Abbe A.

8:20PM PDT on May 8, 2012

Start with the sacred and add the sex. Doesn't work the other way, I don't think.

May 8
send a green star

Saeed A.

10:06PM PDT on Apr 25, 2012

Interesting read...Thanx for sharing

April 25
send a green star

Sarah M.

4:14PM PDT on Apr 19, 2012

THANK YOU!

April 19
send a green star

Ron G.

1:48PM PDT on Apr 19, 2012

Interesting.....For me though,i believe we are way above all other creation and very special to God.It is that which makes our relationships sacred.You see,one of the very first things we learn from Genesis is that the animals were created before mankind.It was then that God said......."Let US make man after our own image" .God is spirit of course and that is the image we were created after .He never created animals the same as he created us....ie with spirit .It shows the He then gave us "" dominion" over animals ...in other words authority and control of.that certainly does not mean abuse of animals but respect for what God has given us. Animals are spoken of frequently throughout the whole Bible but the focus has always been on mankind and God/Christ.That is because of the special creation He has created us for.Maybe the focus of this topic has moved a little from what Michelle was intending , but she also mentions sacred and spirituality as a focus.
God is reffered to as "He " not as in respect of gender...spirit has no need of gender..but we do for the sake of procreation and in respect of the order He has created us.It demonstrates even more the sacredness of who we are.Male and female are created equal which teaches us why only the relationship of that part of creation is sacred and special. Sex then is of particular importance to God and us.

1:47PM PDT on Apr 19, 2012

Alexandra R.

6:08AM PDT on Apr 19, 2012

Same here, Lynda. I too feel that animals DO have souls, and for me too, sacred means spiritual, something I too hold VERY dear! (As dear as I hold G-d in my heart).