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Saying Goodbye to a Beloved Cat or Dog

Mourning

The time needed to grieve is personal for everyone. However, it is quite necessary to work through the process, because denial is even more painful, if not truly harmful, in the long run. One way to think about this is to visualize a flight of stairs in front you. Place apathy on the first step, grief on the second, then continue up the stairs to fear, anger, and pride, then allow three more steps at the top of your flight; courage, acceptance, and peace. You might ask yourself which step you currently find yourself standing upon, as these are the most likely steps that one in a healing process must climb to reach the goal of peace and acceptance. It is often difficult to move from one step to the next as we find ourselves getting stuck, because frankly the pain is so difficult to endure.

Letting Go

To help your body physically understand the concept of letting go of the grief and move to the next step, grasp an object, such as a pen, in your hand and squeeze it as hard as you can, and then turn your hand over and open your hand. Just let the object fall; release it. If you can imagine releasing a feeling, such as anger with this much ease, the process becomes simple, even elegant. Move through each one of the steps of grieving in your own time and release these emotions. Again, flower essences are really helpful at times like these. You may select one or more that resonate appropriately to the feeling you and your animal companions are experiencing.

Many people do not have anyone with whom they can share this type of loss. Family and friends may not understand the depth of feelings you’re experiencing. A pet loss or grief service or therapy group may be the answer. EFT may also be helpful. (See EFT: Tapping for Cats and note that the very same principles work just for fine for dogs and other life forms.) If you or someone close to you is a Reiki practitioner, you might find this to very helpful as well. (See Reiki: Healing for Pets and People)

Listening to Your Heart

You might view death as a departure on a great ship. Just as the ship sails away from us, and we wave goodbye from the shore, at the same time someone waits on the other side, waving hello. Our animals make this journey with grace if we only allow them this dignity, which is their birthright.

Sometimes euthanasia is the best option, particularly when the last days of an illness are likely to involve suffering, or if treatment will be painful or lengthy, with little hope for full recovery. Quality of life is an issue that veterinarians are taught to consider, but occasionally the enthusiasm for a new chemotherapy drug or surgical technique may override common sense.

Before you allow your beloved animals to be drugged, poked, prodded, or surgically explored, communicate with them and try to ascertain what they want. If they are ready to cross over to the realms of light, the most loving gift is to support them in that journey, whether by euthanasia or supportive hospice care, to allow them to go on their own and be surrounded by the people they love to help them pass, like Shaman have done for millennia.

As with living, we can learn so much from our animal friends about death and dying. They seem to view it as a natural progression. It’s so very difficult to watch the ones we love leave their physical bodies, and I’m sure they’re sad to leave us just as we’re sad to lose them. But finally, after we grieve and say farewell, we must concentrate on taking care of the living. We keep our love for the pets who have moved on safely tucked in our hearts. It may be cliché to say that time heals all wounds, as we all carry the scars of those wounds and wear masks to cover them, but somehow we find the strength in their honor to carry on and keep loving, grateful for having had this special being in our lives.

We’ve been changed permanently by living with our beloved animal companions. In that way, they live forever in how we interact with the world. Animals, and humans for that matter, may not be of this Earth but could quite possibly be souls that have chosen to use this planet as their setting for a spiritual experience in a physical body. Animals may not operate in the same complicated way as humans but rather participate in life through nature.

Our animal companions are by no means lesser beings than we are, just different and they bring out the very best in all of us by teaching us the true spirit of unconditional love.

For more alternative and anti-aging therapies for cats and dogs and grief consultations see The Complete Guide to Holistic Cat Care by Celeste Yarnall, Ph.D and Jean Hofve, DVM and Natural Dog Care by Celeste Yarnall, Ph.D or see the Celestial Pets website.

Related:
Mourning a Pet’s Death & Celebrating Their Life
Surviving Pet Loss
Pet Loss: Matters of Love and Death

Read more: Cats, Celestial Musings, Dogs, Guidance, Inspiration, Pets, , , , , , ,

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Celeste Yarnall

Celeste Yarnall, PhD shares musings on myriad of topics at her Celestial Musings Blog. She is the author of The Complete Guide to Holistic Cat Care with Jean Hofve, DVM and Paleo Dog. Celeste is an actress/producer/activist/writer and keynote speaker. She and her husband Nazim Artist created the Art of Wellness Collection and are the producers of Femme: Women Healing the World. They live in Los Angeles, California with their beloved Tonkinese cats. Join Celeste at her website or on Facebook.

125 comments

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1:57PM PDT on Mar 20, 2015

Saying goodbye to my little Deutsch was the most traumatizing experience for me. I guess it was because it was such a violent death. I cried for two weeks until my son drove 120 miles to purchase a puppy that he thought would take his place. Well, I am here to tell you, he did not take Deutsch's place. He has long hair and is a complete mess of a child. I still love him though. Frederick Otto (Fritz for short). You never do get over the death of a pet. It is comparable to a human death. It just gets easier to bear. HUGS TO ALL FROM TEXAS

9:23PM PDT on Mar 16, 2015

So hard.

9:47AM PDT on Mar 16, 2015

Saying goodbye is very hard indeed, and though many lovely furballs have once shared and enriched my life, the loss of each one was devastating, from mostly age related and then, my beloved Spike, from a cobra bite. The other furbabies seem to sense the loss and take it in their stride of living and giving. They lie quiet by my side as I grieve for a while and then they slowly and surely lift and comfort me, as if they were meant to, by just being close by. Anyone who has seen their furball smile will know exactly what I mean. I am so lucky to have my rescues grace my life.

6:50AM PDT on Mar 11, 2015

Thank you sharing.

5:46PM PDT on Mar 9, 2015

A beautiful, expressive and compassionate article. I wish I would have known about the eight steps when I lost my first dog, a beagle, Pip.

4:44PM PST on Mar 4, 2015

thanks

4:20PM PST on Mar 4, 2015

El dolor de perder a una mascota es tremendo,nunca se supera del todo,y siempre estan presentes en nuestro corazon,pero,para los que tenemos tenemos el debere de ocuparnos de su futuro si les llegamos a faltar

8:26PM PST on Feb 24, 2015

Thanks for sharing.

11:50AM PST on Jan 26, 2015

I still don't feel my beloved pets are gone.

3:12PM PST on Jan 21, 2015

Last May my 18 (at least) year old fur baby Ragamuffin passed away. In her final years she was blind, but got around just fine since I kept her confined to my bedroom. I am thankful that she passed peacefully in her sleep.

Reading the article brought tears to my eyes because it reminded me of losing Rags. As she got old, I braced myself for the day that I would say goodbye. Still, when I found her cold and stiff, my heart ached terribly. I can certainly empathize with all who have buried four-legged family members.

A few months ago I acquired two rescue kittens. They could never replace Rags in my heart, but they have made their own places.

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