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Self Forgiveness

Self Forgiveness

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. Iíll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, The world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase each other doesnít make any sense. Rumi

It is a gift to arrive in this field where your shortcomings and mistakes are part of a huge space that can hold them and transform them into steps on a path of growth.† I arrived unprepared to a talk on love and although all the information was there, the structure that conveys the understanding was missing.

I have learned this painful lesson in the past, that there is no such thing as winging it when you come to a group of people and have only a little while to share and teach what is dearest and most important.††† Speaking clearly and articulately is a practiced skill that demands notes and preparation.††† There are many reasonable excuses for my unpreparedness but none that really mitigate the fact that sometimes we make the same mistake over and over again until we are ready to have what we say we want.

Self forgiveness is the only path to this field where our life choices both good and bad are beyond right or wrong doing.††† It is in the deep grass where self doubt and questions of our own worthiness donít stick to us.†† Forging on to this place takes the courage of a warrior but in the end is always easier than rattling around in our own cage of self condemnation where clear thinking and progress is impeded by the bars of our own vision.

Self forgiveness is also the only reliable path to loving anyone else.†† All growth moves from the inside out and ignoring this fact and insisting on bringing the broken parts to the outside for blame or repair mostly pushes us backwards or at the very least a distracted sideways.†† Self forgiveness and its natural extension of forgiving others is how we are in our purest state, in the field where we have let go of old resentment, guilt and pain.

I see the fears that keep me from taking the time to perfect the work that I am most drawn to clearly.† I can look on them with compassion tonight instead of guilt and shame.††† Loving the weakness is the truest source of strength we have.†† We always get to try again.†† It is never about perfecting,† it is always about owning ourselves compassionately.† The world is too full of wonder for anything less.

Read more: Guidance, Inspiration, Love, Relationships, Spirit, Wendy's Positivity Quest,

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.† In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,† she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative advice.†It has been called "the essential guide for relationships." †The book is available on ebook.† Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.

51 comments

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10:57AM PST on Dec 7, 2012

Thank you for sharing.

6:24AM PST on Feb 20, 2012

I have been working on this for years, but it is so true.

8:53PM PDT on Mar 23, 2011

interesting article...it's very important to forgive yourself as well as others, although not always an easy thing to do. thanks for sharing!

6:34AM PDT on Mar 21, 2011

Easier said than done...

12:02PM PDT on Mar 15, 2011

thanks

5:05PM PST on Feb 27, 2011

Thank you for posting.

4:05PM PST on Feb 26, 2011

Yes, we really need to be as kind to ourselves as we are to others. I think a technique that helps is to see yourself as if you were a little child and then ask yourself how you would talk to or treat that little girl or boy? Sometimes we say some really mean things to ourselves and thinking of ourselves as a little child can really help put a stop to this.

5:26PM PST on Feb 12, 2011

It's inportant to forgive others, but most important is to forgive yourself !

5:29PM PST on Feb 7, 2011

thanx and noted :)

12:38PM PST on Feb 5, 2011

that is one of the most difficult things for me to do.

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