Dr. Christiane Northrup, physician, best-selling author and internationally renowned women’s health expert commented, “Up until very recently, hands-on sexual healing has been cloaked in secrecy, shame, and misunderstanding. But a bold new group of courageous pioneers such as Pamela Madsen is leading the way toward a deeper, richer understanding of women’s sexual pleasure as a force for health and healing that positively affects all areas of their lives. The new feminism includes embracing our erotic power, and hands on sexual healing in the right setting can be a very effective way to accomplish this.”
I have been told that I am an “unlikely avatar of desire and pleasure, an Everywoman – a plump, middle-aged housewife, married with two kids, living a middle class life in the Bronx. But with her new book, she’s opening the floodgates of a new national dialogue about integrated female sexuality and well being. She has emerged as the only client of sexual healers to speak publicly about the transformational and healing power of one-way touch and sensual pleasure.”
So maybe my “coming out” is a bit unprecedented! So maybe I am the first. Perhaps. But what I am finding is that the more that I come out and talk to other women, I am finding an overwhelmingly large group of women who are hungry to learn how they too can own and harness their sexuality.
My story has brought an influx of mail from women who feel shut down and cut off from their own bodies and want to taste the freedom of pleasure again – or maybe for the first time. The letters are filled with women talking about how trapped they feel behind the barbed wire fence of shame, guilt, fear and resentment as they struggle to break free. They want to know how to find safe sexual healing with an experienced professional without ditching their lives.
The truth is I got the courage to share my story because, even before I went public, I knew that I wasn’t alone. I was meeting other women like just like myself at workshops and conferences. It made me wonder how widespread “hands-on sexual healing” was becoming. Since there were no official studies, I reached out to sex therapists, women’s health specialists and family therapists to find out if in fact their patients were approaching them with questions about hands-on sexual healing. These practitioners confirmed that not only were women coming to them, they wanted referrals.
Clearly, hands-on sexual healing is slowly seeping into the mainstream. After all, HBO has the hit series Hung. Ray, the protagonist, may call himself a gigolo, but he usually winds up providing a profound experience that most of his clients crave.
Once I got over my shame – and lived to tell about it – I discovered that desire is natural and pleasure is transformational. That needing support around my innate sexuality was natural!
Allowing pleasure into your life isn’t narcissistic, id-driven or the function of a personality disorder. It is, in fact, a path to wholeness. Pleasure helps mend many wounds from body image and depression to the infamous low libido. Sometimes all we need is an expert guide to lead us to the mine of gold we already have inside of us.
I have been on a fabulously funny, sexy, wonky, and totally amazing journey through a world that so many people just whisper about. I came home transformed. In my world the hands-on sexual healers are called Sexological Bodyworkers and they have a professional organization and guidelines to follow. HBO may have “Happiness Consultants.” Whatever the name, paid sexual healing services are in increasing demand. Maybe if a doctor could write a prescription, it wouldn’t be underground anymore. But based on my own informal research, I can tell you, it won’t be sub rosa much longer, and I can’t think of anything more natural than that.