START A PETITION 27,000,000 members: the world's largest community for good

Sexual Fantasies & Daydreams: Should You Give In?

Sexual Fantasies & Daydreams: Should You Give In?

Thereís your external sex life that is physical and very real. Then thereís your internal sex life that takes place in your mind. For some, the internal stuff is a vivid realm filled with sexual exploration and imaginative settings, scenarios, and partners. Others barely fantasize at all. Both are normal.

What does it mean when you daydream about sex with a celeb, a colleague, a character from a book, that guy you follow on Twitter, or anyone other than your partner?

It usually means that your mind is supplying sexual satisfaction in an area where you may not be satisfied in real life.

But donít be bummed out. Itís not a sign that your relationship or sex life is lacking! Hereís why: Nobody meets our needs 100% of the time.

You can be madly in love and totally fulfilled on almost every level. Itís just that sometimes, tucked way in the back of your mind, maybe thereís something you yearn to experience that you havenít explored yet.†You can harmlessly play it out in your daydreams and thatís a good thing.

What does it mean whenóduring sexóyou picture yourself with someone other than your partner?

This is also pretty common, especially in long-term relationships. Please donít feel guilty if you occasionally picture yourself doing someone else while youíre doing your partner. It might be what you need to spice things up during a time when youíre distracted, tired, or just not feeling it.

According to†Psychology Today, you should only be concerned when you†have to imagine someone else every time youíre having sex with your S.O. That might indicate unhappiness in your relationship, boredom, anger, or other intimacy issues. A professional therapist can help you sort through those feelings and your relationship.

How can you use fantasies and daydreams to improve your external sex life?

Self has an entire article on what specific sexual fantasies mean (e.g. dungeon sex, orgies, sex with a stranger) and how you can use those fantasies to heat up your sex life†without revealing the private details you dream about. However, Dr. Lisa Levy suggests that†sharing fantasies and desires with a partner can get you both aroused. So if you feel safe disclosing your inner sex life, it could lead to something even more steamy than usual.

And while it might be cool to imagine sex without birth control in your daydreams,†we highly recommend it in real life.


Related Articles
Steamy Sex Positions to Heat Up Your Weekend
Erotic Everyday Activities
What to do When You Want Different Things in Bed

Read more: Dating, Health, Love, Relationships, Sex, Sexual Health, Uncategorized, , , ,

Originally published on

have you shared this story yet?

go ahead, give it a little love


Everyone should have the life they want, when they want it. And until someone is ready to have a baby, we believe they should have access to birth control. Thatís where we come in. Bedsider makes birth control easier. How? By giving you everything you need to find it, get it, and use it well.


+ add your own
1:56PM PDT on May 8, 2014

interesting, thank you!

6:35AM PST on Feb 24, 2014

Excuse me while I go find my husband.......

9:05AM PST on Feb 9, 2014

All sounds perfectly normal.
I picture Teresa w emerging from under the rickety-rackety bridge!

2:57AM PST on Feb 9, 2014

Thank you

1:17AM PST on Feb 3, 2014

Thank you :)

2:01AM PST on Jan 28, 2014

:-) Ty

1:52PM PST on Jan 26, 2014

How about choosing the fantasies you keep and forgetting the ones that have you questioning yourself?

1:50AM PST on Jan 23, 2014


1:41AM PST on Jan 23, 2014

Thank you :)

8:41PM PST on Jan 22, 2014

Interesting article, thank you.

add your comment

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

people are talking

goodbye to the waistline & welcome bikini !! if only it was that easy...

Cute! They may still have some issues to work out, but that will happen in time.

a kitten adopted us and our older girl adopted her


Select names from your address book   |   Help

We hate spam. We do not sell or share the email addresses you provide.