“In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty…in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of possibilities we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.”
So many of us approach our sexuality and lovemaking as a mission with a definite beginning, middle and final outcome. We enter every sexual union with an attachment to achieve a sexual climax (ejaculation for men and clitoral orgasm for women). This attachment is based on a fear and a belief system that if we don’t achieve this outcome that our sexual experience will be lacking. This attachment can cause anxiety, and for some low libido, making us avoid sex.
By holding this attachment to outcome, I would contend that we are missing infinite possibilities in our sexuality if we could only surrender. So why not bring a little enlightenment to your sex life and try applying these simple steps of The Law of Detachment to your next sexual union?
1. Intention: Set your intention – in sexuality it could be to experience expanded pleasure, trying something new, deepening your connection and intimacy with your partner. Throw yourself a wide net.
2. Attention: Put your attention on your body and the body of your partner. Tune into your breath, your desire and touch. Explore the ways that you can heighten your awareness of your body and the body of your partner. Bring into your lovemaking anything that you or your partner may enjoy and turn your attention to the possibility of savoring pleasure and each other. Can you slow things down and really feel your body? How much attention can you offer to your partner? Can you shower each other with total presence?
3. Detachment: Which is really about letting go of attachment to outcome. In this exercise of bringing detachment to sexuality – it could be to let go of our attachment to climax and simply surrender to pleasure and connection where ever it brings us. This could translate into experiencing expanded pleasure in ways that we could never have experienced it, if we had kept our attention on a particular outcome.
According to The Law of Detachment, attachment “comes from poverty consciousness, because attachment is always to symbols.” If we bring this to our sexuality an example could be: “If I have many orgasms or give my partner many orgasms I will be known as a great lover!”
From The Spiritual Spiritual Laws of Success: “Detachment is synonymous with wealth consciousness, because with detachment there is freedom to create.” Now isn’t that the kind of sex life you want? One that is built on the fertile ground of uncertainty where you can create pleasure, joy and connection with an unbounded sense of creativity and freedom? Think of approaching your sexuality with a sense of excitement, and a willingness to go into the mystery. Let go.
Enlightened sex on a spiritual path. Now that is something worth meditating on!