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Sexuality On The Spiritual Path

“In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty…in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of possibilities we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.”

So many of us approach our sexuality and lovemaking as a mission with a definite beginning, middle and final outcome. We enter every sexual union with an attachment to achieve a sexual climax (ejaculation for men and clitoral orgasm for women). This attachment is based on a fear and a belief system that if we don’t achieve this outcome that our sexual experience will be lacking. This attachment can cause anxiety, and for some low libido, making us avoid sex.

By holding this attachment to outcome, I would contend that we are missing infinite possibilities in our sexuality if we could only surrender. So why not bring a little enlightenment to your sex life and try applying these simple steps of The Law of Detachment to your next sexual union?

1. Intention: Set your intention – in sexuality it could be to experience expanded pleasure, trying something new, deepening your connection and intimacy with your partner. Throw yourself a wide net.

2. Attention: Put your attention on your body and the body of your partner. Tune into your breath, your desire and touch. Explore the ways that you can heighten your awareness of your body and the body of your partner.  Bring into your lovemaking anything that you or your partner may enjoy and turn your attention to the possibility of savoring pleasure and each other. Can you slow things down and really feel your body? How much attention can you offer to your partner? Can you shower each other with total presence?

3. Detachment: Which is really about letting go of attachment to outcome. In this exercise of bringing detachment to sexuality – it could be to let go of our attachment to climax and simply surrender to pleasure and connection where ever it brings us. This could translate into experiencing expanded pleasure in ways that we could never have experienced it, if we had kept our attention on a particular outcome.

According to The Law of Detachment, attachment “comes from poverty consciousness, because attachment is always to symbols.” If we bring this to our sexuality an example could be: “If I have many orgasms or give my partner many orgasms I will be known as a great lover!”

From The Spiritual Spiritual Laws of Success: “Detachment is synonymous with wealth consciousness, because with detachment there is freedom to create.” Now isn’t that the kind of sex life you want? One that is built on the fertile ground of uncertainty where you can create pleasure, joy and connection with an unbounded sense of creativity and freedom? Think of approaching your sexuality with a sense of excitement, and a willingness to go into the mystery. Let go.

Enlightened sex on a spiritual path.  Now that is something worth meditating on!

Read more: General Health, Health, Healthy Aging, Inspiration, Love, Recharge Your Life, Relationships, Self-Help, Sex, Spirit, Women's Health, , , , , , , , , ,

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Pamela Madsen

Pamela Madsen is an Integrative Life Coach Specializing In Women's Issues: Sexuality, Fertility, Body Image, Wellness and Rejuvenation. Pamela is also author of the best selling memoir Shameless (Rodale, Jan 2011), and founder of The American Fertility Association.Her websites and her daily blog,, are a breakfast essential for reporters, writers and policymakers.


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5:18AM PST on Jan 17, 2012

physical relationship without spiritual is body without soul

12:22PM PST on Dec 16, 2011


1:06PM PST on Dec 13, 2011


8:50AM PST on Dec 13, 2011

complete openness and abandonment, trust and focus
equals pure energy

9:37PM PST on Dec 10, 2011

My 20something guys do 3 hour sessions and we are hot and sensual together. It couldn't be more joyful. It feels very spiritual and heavenly but these articles always bring imaginary gods and imaginary afterlife into sex. My point is sex in and of itself is love, it's estacy, it's beyond words and it's totally animal. The estacy of sex, however, is not connected whatsoever with any fairy gods or pie heavens, it only feels that way. Orgasms are fantastic and I love every one of them. They feel out of this world, but they are not. The only reason a girl would have to put herself in a trance or get drunk before she has sex is because she isn't sexually attracted to the guy. It's much more joyful if she's hot for him.

5:49PM PST on Dec 10, 2011

I enjoyed this article and I don't think it is hypnosis or trance like it is awareness of the moment without expectations. That could be Jane B's animal moment or a total emersion into the moment at hand. Either way I bet someone is finding joy or at least I hope so. I notice my dog when you give it a nice piece of steak he will swallow it without even bothering to chew and taste it. I think that is what seperates us from animals we can take the time to enjoy and savor.

2:39AM PST on Dec 10, 2011

Try astral sex!

12:45AM PST on Dec 10, 2011

sexuality on a spiritual path= are you kidding me? you are in love or you are not. that sums it up pretty much vs. all that bs.

9:51PM PST on Dec 9, 2011

thank you! I love this! :)

6:31PM PST on Dec 9, 2011

Lloyd, thanks for your thoughts. This should not be "Sexuality on the Spiritual Path" but
"Sexuality on the Physical Path". We need to first have animal sexual attraction and then
long sessions of hot sex. If a woman is attracted to a man, there is no need to meditate or
put herself in a trance or get drunk to enjoy sex. If a woman has to do self hypnosis to have sex with a man, then she is with the wrong man. The only time a woman needs "sexual healing" is when she is turned off by the man. She should just go find another guy who turns her on. ;)

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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