Start Where You Are This New Year

No matter how bad your habits, your vices, how badly you feel about yourself, take a moment to accept yourself and start where you are when you make this New Years resolutions. Here is inspiring guidance for starting just where you are:

I was in a dead-end relationship, smoking two packs a day, eating too much, and walking around in a cloud of depression. I hated myself. I hated my body; I hated my rotten attitude; I hated what I had become; and every time I tried to do anything positive–diet, exercise, cheer up, quit smoking–Id last for a few days and then fall apart and hate myself even more.

One day when I was working up the determination to quit smoking again, my sister–who was always on my case to quit–bought me a pack of cigarettes and told me if I was ready to give up something, then I should give up being so hard on myself. At first I thought she was being sarcastic. When I realized she was dead serious, I started to cry. It turned out to be a lot harder than I ever imagined, but it was a beginning–the real beginning of my life.

All change begins with awareness. If you wish to cultivate more simplicity, love, and peace of mind in your life through the practice of kindness, the place to begin is an examination of where you are. The key is to look kindly upon yourself–to hold in nonjudgmental awareness just where you are right now in your life.

The paradox is that when we begin to notice, without judgment, just where we are, we create the space for something different to happen. By treating ourselves with the kindness of acceptance, we make it possible to be transformed.

Adapted from Practice Random Acts of Kindness, by the editors of Random Acts of Kindness (Conari Press, 2007). Copyright (c) 2007 by the editors of Random Acts of Kindness. Reprinted by permission of Conari Press.
Adapted from Practice Random Acts of Kindness, by the editors of Random Acts of Kindness (Conari Press, 2007).

102 comments

Justin M.
Justin M.3 years ago

Thanks

J.L. A.
JL A.4 years ago

thanks

Rebecca Willis-watkins

That's beautiful, and very true. Thanks =)

Michele Wilkinson

Thank you

K s Goh
KS Goh5 years ago

Thanks for the article.

Robert O.
Robert O.5 years ago

Thanks.

David M.
David M.5 years ago

Thanks

David M.
David M.5 years ago

Thanks

Marielle B.
Past Member 8 years ago

Hi Maire - I'm so sad that you feel this way about yourself, your life. It takes me back, as I'm sure quite a few of us, to a time where I felt the same way. I eventually realized that no one in this world is perfect, and that no one is totally worthless. Maire there is no one in this world that is better than you. No matter how rich or poor, white or yellow, or if they are Presidents or Ditch Diggers, it does not matter, ever! Everyone makes mistakes!
Anyone can be voted for or against, regardless of their secrets or lifestyles. People lie, trust, hate, love, respect, disrespect, kill, marry, etc and can be in the public eye, make movies, run a country, be a Pope, be a News telecaster, a Judge or Jurer. Everyone makes bad judgments at some time in their lives. If I knew you for 10 minutes I know I would see the goodness in you. You are talented, smart, caring already because you are here wanting to make a difference. If someone has made you feel this way (that you want to die) about yourself, don't believe it. They have big problems and it makes them feel bigger or better by putting you and others down. You have a whole life to live, here with us and I'm sure there is someone out there in your life right now, who thinks you are great!
Please Maire, the world needs you. Hugs, Marielle B.

Paul Combs
Paul Combs8 years ago

I like to think I have changed for the better in 2007 but I could do more.