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Starting a Sexual Revolution Begins With Education

Starting a Sexual Revolution Begins With Education

 

“What if our kids really believed we wanted them to have great sex…What if they really believed that we want them to be so passionately in love with someone that they can’t keep their hands off them?  What if they really believed we want them to know their own bodies?”  – Al Vernacchio

Taking Sex Education out of the dungeon that it has lived in over the last 30 years is an epic step towards wholeness in our society. One courageous teacher, Al Vernacchio, is doing just that in his class Sexuality and Society, at a small private school near Philadelphia. He may well be the first teacher in this county that has taken the bold step to go beyond the fear/disease based instruction model built on  the abstinence training which dominates our schools and has allowed pornography to become the only readily available form of sex education for our youth. Vernacchio’s ground breaking curriculum explores both the depth and breadth of sexuality issues that most teens grapple with including: how to recognize and form your own values, understanding sexual orientation as well as discussions about safer sex; sex in relationships; sexual health; and the emotional and physical terrain of sexual activity.

Offering these kinds of sexual conversations to our youth is revolutionary and is at the heart of the deepest healing that needs to happen on this planet: making peace with our erotic selves. It isn’t just the kids that need this education, either — the vast majority of adults in this country never been exposed to the healthy, provocative and open discussions necessary to understand how our mysterious sexuality works, how we attribute meaning to it, as well as how to experience more pleasure from it. Our collective shame and fear is choking our ability to nurture and sustain healthy intimate relationships and a recent study in the Harvard Medical Review rightly condemns our silence and denial of sexuality as “a betrayal of our next generation, which is desperately in need of knowledge, conversation and resources to negotiate the delicious and treacherous terrain of sexuality in the 21st century.”

It is important to realize that our current forms of abstinence training are relatively recent developments in the history of Sexual Education. Interestingly, it was Progressive Era reformers like Sears and Roebuck’s president Julius Rosenwald and the President of Harvard, Charles Eliot who believed sex education was an essential means of eliminating venereal disease as well as the double standards that kept women from achieving equality. They taught both the rewards of sexual intimacy within a marriage and the hazards outside of marriage. In fact it wasn’t until the social contract shift in the 1960’s that sexuality outside of marriage was widely entertained. The back lash of this opening happened in the 1980’s when comprehensive sex education was replaced with abstinence only education models. Among many other issues that divided the political right and left, the moral majority won the sexuality battle and everyone lost the basic right to sex education.

Imagine what life might look like if we all had a good solid dose of sex education. Imagine shame and guilt, the two constant companions of countless sex drives replaced with curiosity and wonder. Pleasure of all kinds would become a welcome respite and our capacity to combine long lasting relationships with our own personal language of intimacy would thrive. I dare say, if our kids believed we wanted them to have healthy and vital intimate lives, parents too might be enjoying the same with more frequency. Great sex could be celebrated as part of the journey of growing up over a life time. Maybe porn would get boring and clandestine affairs seem not worth the price. A little sex education would go a long way to revolutionizing how we love. Sign me up.

Read more: Dating, Family, Health, Healthy Schools, Love, News & Issues, Relationships, Sex, Teens, Women's Health, , , ,

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BONUS butterfly credits

Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.

44 comments

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10:52AM PDT on Jun 27, 2012

Yes! Implement the program immediately!

12:52AM PDT on Jun 27, 2012

Great Article, Thanks!!

12:45AM PDT on Jun 27, 2012

Adolescents just don't see sex in a way that adults do and we can't expect them to. There is validity in sex ed in school, but nothing makes up for good home rules and explanations and valuable community service centers.

8:45PM PST on Feb 23, 2012

This is an interesting article. I'd like to take the course!

8:45PM PST on Jan 19, 2012

Thanks

5:18AM PST on Jan 17, 2012

thanks

3:47PM PST on Jan 11, 2012

I'd love to take his class!

4:45PM PST on Dec 9, 2011

Thanks

4:21AM PST on Dec 8, 2011

A class in RESPECT AND RESPONSIBILITY should be taught from Grade one to graduation, children should be taught that anything is permissible as long as it does not hurt themselves or anybody else. Common sense would dictate that if children are taught at a very early age that every child has their own strengths and weaknesses and that they should use their strengths to help not tease or bully others.
Later on Sex Education should be taught from Contraceptives, Masturbation,LGBT and all forms of sex. Let us face it whether we like it or not children are curious and are having sex earlier and earlier. They should be taught the joys and the consequences of having sex ( Pregnancy,STD, AIDS ) But you say when will this be taught. Cut out Geography or History early on then put it back in and remove Geometry and Algebra. They can learn this in college if need be. I believe this is a solution. Nipping it in the Bud so that Bullying, Sexual Assault, and many others will be greatly diminished if not eradicated. It is my belief that when children graduate with these principals where they are taught RESPECT for themselves and others and to take RESPONSIBILITY for their actions. Within a few generations this world would be a much better place to live in.

10:34PM PST on Dec 6, 2011

"What if they really believed that we want them to be so passionately in love with someone that they can’t keep their hands off them? What if they really believed we want them to know their own bodies?” – Al Vernacchio

+++++++++++++++++++++ OF COURSE WE DO!

Stupid, short-sighted, superstitious fundamental religious thinking often wants to censor this kind of attitude....but, I want all young people to experience the joys of sexual attractction....ASSUMING THEY USE BIRTH CONTROL.

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people are talking

Great article, thanks for sharing.

Great info, thank you.

Thanks Maria, I need to do this a this weekend is perfect time to do it ! HAPPY & SAFE HOLIDAY E…

I don't know if their relationship can be mended

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