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Stop Comparing the Present with the Past

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Some years ago, I went through a relationship breakup that I didn’t want. It was hard for me not to dwell on comparing every person I met thereafter with that man. It took me a long time to let go of that hurt and accept that maybe life had something else in store for me that would open those same heart feelings so I could feel fulfilled again. I felt like I would never have that great of a relationship experience again. I think a lot of people end up feeling this way. They assume the person they were in the relationship with is the only source of those good feelings they had. Itís helpful to realize that itís not so much the person youíre enjoying but the feelings you experience that are fulfilling Ė and you can have those feelings by re-opening your heart with or without another person. This was a big life lesson for me: Itís the feelings in our heart that are opened by love. We can experience those feelings again, even when the one we loved who helped us open our heart is not present Ė our heart feelings are not dependent on one person. As long as we think so, we’re trapped.Women laying in field

With self-compassion and patience, you can emerge from the depths of challenging times, especially if you connect with the strength that comes from truly putting your heart into the intention to move forward. The first step to activating your heart is having compassion for yourself, which quickens recovery and re-stabilization. Itís important to come from the heart not just the mind to get the full physiological and emotional benefit. You may also need help to re-open your heart if the past youíre trying to release was traumatic. Be proactive: When you start creating the future, your mind starts to free up. And then you can move on.

Download HeartMathís free De-Stress Kit for more ways to feel better fast.

Read more: Family, General Health, Health, Home, Life, Love, Mental Wellness, Nourishing the Heart, Self-Help, Spirit, Spirituality and Technology, Women's Health, , , , , , ,

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Deborah, from HeartMath

Deborah Rozman, Ph.D., is President and CEO of the for-profit Quantum Intech Inc (dba HeartMath Inc.) Deborah has been deeply committed to awareness development and personal growth for 40 years. Deborah is co-author with Doc Childre of Transforming Anger, Transforming Stress, Transforming Anxiety, Transforming Depression and Stopping Emotional Eating.


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11:53AM PDT on Apr 19, 2013


11:35AM PST on Jan 14, 2013

thanks for sharing

6:12AM PST on Jan 6, 2013

We all have things in our past we wish we could change,but you have to move on as best you can and live for today,tomorrow is not promised. Life is too short to waste!!!

7:31AM PST on Dec 27, 2012

thanks for sharing this

11:58PM PST on Dec 26, 2012

Excellent advice, will try to follow it, thank you.

8:55AM PST on Dec 15, 2012

Thanks for sharing.

11:21AM PST on Dec 14, 2012

Thanks for this this.

12:50PM PST on Dec 13, 2012

I don't care so much about the past, it's the future that scares me!

11:30AM PST on Dec 13, 2012

EFT teaches us that "Memories buried alive never die, they just show up in another form".

9:23AM PST on Dec 13, 2012

Thanks for the advice. It's always sort of hard to get to terms with change, isn't it.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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