Some years ago, I went through a relationship breakup that I didn’t want. It was hard for me not to dwell on comparing every person I met thereafter with that man. It took me a long time to let go of that hurt and accept that maybe life had something else in store for me that would open those same heart feelings so I could feel fulfilled again. I felt like I would never have that great of a relationship experience again. I think a lot of people end up feeling this way. They assume the person they were in the relationship with is the only source of those good feelings they had. Itís helpful to realize that itís not so much the person youíre enjoying but the feelings you experience that are fulfilling Ė and you can have those feelings by re-opening your heart with or without another person. This was a big life lesson for me: Itís the feelings in our heart that are opened by love. We can experience those feelings again, even when the one we loved who helped us open our heart is not present Ė our heart feelings are not dependent on one person. As long as we think so, we’re trapped.
With self-compassion and patience, you can emerge from the depths of challenging times, especially if you connect with the strength that comes from truly putting your heart into the intention to move forward. The first step to activating your heart is having compassion for yourself, which quickens recovery and re-stabilization. Itís important to come from the heart not just the mind to get the full physiological and emotional benefit. You may also need help to re-open your heart if the past youíre trying to release was traumatic. Be proactive: When you start creating the future, your mind starts to free up. And then you can move on.