Surviving Pet Loss

By Lisa Spector, Juilliard Graduate, Canine Music Expert and co-founder of Through a Dog’s Ear.

In the acknowledgments for Calm your Canine Companion Vol. 1, I wrote … “In memory of my beloved soul-dog, Byron. You remain forever in my heart.” While recording, I kept the above picture of Byron on the piano. I’ve been thinking a lot about him lately. Byron’s eight year memorial is tomorrow and he really inspired my enormous love of dogs. I wrote the letter below just hours before he passed away at the ripe age of almost 14, on May 28, 2003.

Dearest Byron,

Words can’t possibly express what a treasure and gift you have been in my life. 12 1/2 years ago I wrote an affirmation that brought you into my life. I posted it on my bedroom mirror and read it every day. Six months later, in June of 1991, I learned that a 21-month-old Golden Retriever named Byron needed a new home. I’ll never forget the first time I saw you. You were wet because you had been playing on the beach and your entire focus was on retrieving the stick. Once the stick was gone though and I walked you to your new home, you acted as if you just loved me instantly. Barry said we were just trying you out for awhile, but I knew from that moment, there was no going back. We were lifetime partners.

You loved your new home and we so loved having you with us. You hung out with me by the piano a lot, and I loved it when you rested your head on my pedal foot – your favorite position. Although I loved you a lot then, I think we bonded more after we separated from Barry. You became my Rock of Gibraltar at that point. I knew the day that I left our home that if I had you and my piano, I would be happy. Your mission was to take care of me, and mine was to take care of you and have you by my side as often as possible. Every day, you came to work with me and became the school mascot at my music school. People passing us on the street would often remark, “Your dog is smiling at me.”

What a team we made – hiking Montara mountain, daily walks along the coastal bluff tops, frequent romps on the beach chasing sticks and footballs. You always made sure I got lots of exercise and kept playing retrieve with your beloved frisbee. We took summer vacations together. Swimming with you was my all time favorite activity we shared, and I’m pretty sure it was yours. The first summer we went to Oregon together, we swam in every lake and river to be found. One day, after swimming and hanging out at the river for 7 hours, you cried like a baby when it was time to leave. Summer Lake Inn was the best, and I’ll always cherish the photograph of us swimming together there last summer.

This morning, you looked at me intently and this is the message I felt you were communicating to me: “Thank you for all you have given me, for I am eternally grateful. It has been the best life a dog could wish for. Remember this moment always, it is all that truly matters now. I have taught you well that love is more important than anything and the present moment is all that exists. It is now your time to carry this message out to the world.”

My commitment to you is to carry on in the lessons that you have taught me about peace, gentleness, and love. You are leaving your body, but you are not leaving me. Byron, thank you for being a miraculous gift in my life.

Infinite Love,
Lisa

The look he gave me that last morning carried me through many following challenging days. When a pet is part of your family, losing him/her can be a very painful experience. If we choose to have pets in our lives, pet loss is an inevitable part of the experience.

As I remember his passing eight years ago, I am reflecting on the support I received that helped me through that difficult time. And there are even more resources available today than there were then. Here are a few that you may find particularly helpful:

Next: Resources for coping with pet loss

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Sally A.

12:54PM PDT on May 24, 2012

Thank you for sharing your story. That Rainbow Poem was so touching, it made me cry. Three days ago, we lost our beloved Rottweiler dog due to an illness. She was only 5 yrs. old. It is so hard to take and so heart breaking. I have lost many babies but each one is still heart breaking to lose. Whether it is their time to go or due to an illness. It is never easy. I miss them all.

send a green star

Carol R.

6:41AM PDT on Oct 19, 2011

A week and a half ago,my beloved Tonka (large Maine Coon ) was outside with my other furballs (they only go out with me) laying on his back enjoying thalast warm rays of the sun before the start of the cold of winter. At 2:00 am. I got up to find he wasn't in bed with me, but was covered with slime and gasping for breath...a trip to the emergency clinic and an explanation and the amount of $ I could spend to POSSIBLY extend his life and I mad the decision to end his life. He had heart failure and pulmonary edema and was in pain. I've had to euthanize other animal companions that were sick and treatment was not helping and I ended their suffering. What is making this loss so hard is he never was sick before...and in a matter of two hours he was gone. I am numb with disbelief that one day he was robust and running around and early the next morning he was dead. This is making my grief all the more hard to come to grips with because of the hidden disease process that went undiagnosed and with no preparation to know that the end was near. Even with the huge amounts of $ to save him (if I had it) I could not bear to watch him drown in his own fluids. I'm still in shock.

Lindsey W.

2:29PM PDT on Jul 13, 2011

Thank you for this. I am going through my first pet loss right now. I still have my Snowball...but Friday is they day we take her to the vet and hat is when we will know whether or not we will put her down....I cried reading the poem about Rainbow Bridge. I just really hope it is real and that is where she will go. Thanks for sharing.

Alice T.

12:52PM PDT on Jun 27, 2011

The pain and the love in your letter and article is palatable. I lost my beloved Magoo in 2000, after he supported me through the death of my mom, a best friend, and a beloved neighbor. Dogs are so all-giving! I heard someone say one time, "I have kids--not dogs--because kids last longer." And I knew exactly what he was talking about. Dogs are like kids to many of us; they just don't last long enough. . .

Michele W.

9:07AM PDT on Jun 10, 2011

I have several pets waiting for me at rainbow bridge. To lose animals which are so well loved is always hard. I miss all of them, and the partings never are easy, but I take comfort in remembering the happy times I spent with each of them.

Sheri P.

1:13PM PDT on Jun 5, 2011

I second what Dawn W. said...I too have lost too many beloved pets and it hurts like hell. I also cried reading the letter...

Alet C.

11:22AM PDT on Jun 2, 2011

Thanks for sharing, yes it is heartbreaking losing a beloved pet.

Cindi N.

9:59AM PDT on Jun 2, 2011

I am thankful for every day I have with my horses, cats & dogs. It is always hard to let one go but then I think....now I have room to love another unwanted creature.

Marcia M.

4:10AM PDT on Jun 2, 2011

It's so hard lose a beloved animal.
I've lost my cat (Matilde) last February, and it's been hard.
I miss her so much.