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Tantra: Open Your Eyes and Breathe

Tantra: Open Your Eyes and Breathe

ďThere are moments in moist love when heaven is jealous of what we on earth can do.Ē† -Hafiz


Moist love, as opposed to dry love, is a container where the partners adhere to each other. Think of garden soil and how fecund moist soil is literally the root of anything that wants to be cultivated. Any gardener will tell you that water alone is not enough to heal dry, cracked land and will instruct you on the seasons of amending the earth you are cultivating. This metaphor goes a long way in describing how to moisten the intimacy in your relationship as well. Tantra is actually the process of amending the foundation of your love. Even though its most immediate results are often measured in the passionate heat produced in awakened lovemaking, these moments are nothing but fleeting fireworks if the very same practices are not levied deep into the foundation of your love.

Make love with your eyes wide open.

Begin this training in the daily moments of waking, eating, and living side by side.

In our hurry up digital world, we confuse regular texting as connection, in truth the biology of love requires real presence with full use of our senses. Intimate bridges to the heart traverse our neurological networks that begin with our eyes. Eye gazing, even for only five seconds, look up and see the person speaking to you across the counter. Look up and hold your partners gaze when she shares her concerns about the car or the kids. The practice of training your eyes on the ones you love, extending from five seconds to thirty will teach you the truth of finding eternity in a minute. It will also prepare you for the simplest yet most extraordinary shift you can make to your physical love making.

The vast majority of couples make love in the dark, eyes shut. Slowly, bringing light, cracking your eyes open to witness the person above or below you, while sharing the most entwined poses available to us, will surprise, bewilder, and connect you like nothing else. This revolutionary approach to love making is harder than it sounds. Bearing full witness to the person you love in the act of love making requires stepping outside of your own experience in moments when we can be consumed by the power and depth of our own erotic self. Our sexuality has many expressions: sexual release appears sometimes painful, sometimes ecstatic, sometimes effortful, sometimes the essence of deep appreciation. We realize gratefully that connection is not about how we look. Having courage to both witness and be seen in the many faces that love generates will make the soil moist between you.

Breathe together.

The communication you share in your relationship is the very breath of your love and also the currency of energy that sustains or depletes the life force between you. Sharing real intimacy with our words is the source of healing that amends the foundation of your relationship. Practice aligning your breathing by listening more to the pauses between the words, to the tone of voice exchanged, to the aspiration of what is trying to be said, rather than just the words alone. Frequently we donít know the language required to express what we need to be heard. Learning to listen to the message behind the words is a profound daily practice of aligning your breath to your partnerís natural rhythm. By slowing down the communication, you reduce miscommunications because there is more moisture in the air between you. This softer space encourages opening in places you might not even have known were closed.

Taking this practice into the bedroom by deliberately setting your breath together during intercourse is like adding jet fuel to the heat that penetration generates. Aligned breathing regulates the container of your passion so that both partners share the continuous awareness of each otherís deepest states. This kind of sexual listening opens the simple yet profound transformative force of awakened love to your intimate life. Again, this practice is more challenging than it sounds on the surface. Adding breath consciousness elevates penetrative rhythms into a rain dance and conversation into connection.

Read more: Blogs, Love, Making Love Sustainable, Sex, Spirit

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.† In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,† she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative advice.†It has been called "the essential guide for relationships." †The book is available on ebook.† Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


+ add your own
12:44AM PST on Nov 14, 2013

errr... ok. TY

4:02AM PDT on May 23, 2013

Thanks for sharing - I for one have never understood the point of making love in the dark or with my eyes closed, that's just boring!

9:49PM PDT on Apr 21, 2013

It may be moist but is the penetration good too?

4:01PM PST on Nov 27, 2012

So true:) because of this practice I have a deep orgasm every time...

11:41AM PST on Nov 10, 2012

I always wondered what Tantra was all about. Thanks

7:10AM PST on Nov 10, 2012

this is powerful & truthful , thanks !

9:54AM PST on Nov 5, 2012


6:15AM PST on Nov 5, 2012

This is another painfully ignorant use of the term "tantra" which has more to do with divine realization than passionate lovemaking. Shame on our author for continuing this misunderstanding. I know that "sex sells" but I somehow expected more from Care2!

6:10AM PST on Nov 5, 2012

Noted, thank you.

5:42AM PST on Nov 5, 2012


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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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