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Tantric Sex for Beginners: 4 Easy Tips!

Tantric Sex for Beginners: 4 Easy Tips!

My friend Sean recently wowed me by casually mentioning that he had just attended a three-day tantric sex workshop where the end goal was, well, for no end goal. “The point,” he said, “is to channel all the sexual energy that would normally leave during an orgasm, back into your body. It gives you so much energy!”

Sure enough, achieving the big “O” is not Tantra’s main objective. Instead, you attempt to prolong the act, increasing potent sexual energy and intimacy with your partner. If you focus solely on the grand finale, you’ll miss the amazing range of feeling the rest of the show offers. “Sexual energy is one of our most powerful energies for creating health,” says Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom. “Through the intimate connection with another, our stress hormones lower and our serotonin shoots through the roof.”

Hmmm, I’ve certainly heard of Tantra but besides the Bible-length Kama Sutra, wacky-sounding positions like “lotus” and “jumping spider” and tales of Sting engaging in 36-hour lovemaking sessions, I didn’t know much, let alone that the intimacy is great for our health. “Even without an exhaustive education,” says Wendy Strgar, Care2 columnist and CEO of Good, Clean Love, “the principles behind tantric practice can go a long way in deepening the connection you share with your partner.”
Design an “Intimacy Space”

This should be a comfortable area that is playful and relaxed. First, clear the room of any attention-grabbing clutter. Next, decorate with flowers, candles and cozy fabrics. Scent is really important to our sensuality, so try natural oils like jasmine, ylang-ylang, or rose. Make sure your bed is as comfortable as possible with soft sheets and a number of pillows. Lastly, chose a soundtrack of music that you both like. Play it softly in the background to enhance your mood.

Breathe Each Other’s Breath

Harmonizing your breath is one of the easiest ways to sync with your partner. Straddle your partner’s lap (called the yab-yom position) and inhale while they exhale and vice versa. As your partner breathes out, you’ll find yourself taking their breath into and down through your entire body. As you exhale, consciously attempt to energize the breath. In this way, you’re sharing all of yourself with your partner. “Becoming conscious about your breath is central to all yogic practices and is foundational in Tantra,” says Strgar.

 

Keep Your Eyes Open

“The idea of making love with your eyes open is one of the fundamentals of deep connection in intimacy,” says Strgar. “It is surprisingly harder to do than you might expect. Move toward this idea as an intention rather than a rule and be amazed as the collection of glimpses that will reshape how you think about your partner and yourself. It is not easy to be seen, even by the people we love. Truly witnessing the act of love is profoundly transformative.”

Take it Slow

Sorry guys, foreplay is essential in Tantra. A leisurely, slow build helps men control longevity and piques women’s arousal. The longer you linger in this process of building energy, the longer your session will last and the more energy you will build. Use this time to fully focus on each other. As in meditation, when your thoughts wander, gently guide your attention back to your partner and the magic of the moment at hand.

Check out more great sex articles:

4 Tantric Sex Exercises for Couples or Singles

How to Get What You Want in Bed

4 Life-Changing Exercises for Sex

5 Reasons to Have Sex Today!

Read more: General Health, Health, Love, Relationships, Sex, Spirit, , , , , , , ,

By Veronica Peterson, Editor, Healthy&Green Living

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Veronica Peterson

Veronica Peterson has a background in green design and creative writing. She loves discovering and sharing sustainable ways to enrich life. Veronica is a happy urbanite, who lives above a produce market in San Francisco with her dog Winnie.

970 comments

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6:51AM PDT on Jul 19, 2014

Travelling the world with the international school of tantra made us realise that most people ask us about joining us, working with us or being associated with us. We also realised that it is not really about us as such, but the deep yearning people have to connect with others.
In intimacy we are connected, we do not have to create it, we just need to celebrate that fact that we are intimate (with everyone we meet) ...

5:16PM PDT on Jul 7, 2014

Thanks

4:43AM PDT on Jun 28, 2014

ty

12:04PM PDT on Jun 21, 2014

true, but finding that one in a million being fit for one is such a task !! tantra is not about sex only it is about Yoga.

5:02AM PDT on May 29, 2014

not for anteaters

6:24AM PDT on May 17, 2014

sounds good to me - just missing one thing - now what is it - oh yes no partner - oh well - hope others enjoy - thank you

6:11AM PDT on May 17, 2014

You cannot have Tantric sex unless you are a member of a Tantric Hindu or Buddhist sect, period. Copying postures and techniques does not endow you with the religious mindset that would truly make sexual activities Tantric. Only years of study can do that, so find another name, like "superficially Eastern sex." One can learn to sing the syllables of a Gregorian chant, but it won't make you Christian, a monk, or give you any understanding of Latin.

2:04PM PDT on Mar 20, 2014

Wow, still the myths persist that tantra=sex and Kama Sutra=tantra! Yoga has become so popular in the west and still we don't understand more than just the most superficial aspects. These are nice tips to enhance sensual connection and communication but I'm not so sure they are really Tantra...

7:01PM PDT on Mar 13, 2014

Cant wait to try...

9:32AM PST on Jan 21, 2014

While not always successful, I've "always" believed in and tried to make pleasing my partner a priority. When sex is "fun" and "enjoyable" (I think the world of "eye contact") for both parties, nothing else matters. Don and WE CAN! :-))

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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