http://www.care2.com/greenliving/textual-harassment-sexting-and-teen-sexuality.html
Textual Harassment: “Sexting” and Teen Sexuality
When I was a preadolescent boy, I had a “relationship” with a neighborhood girl of the same age. We would ride bikes together, play Clue, talk about UFOs, build elaborate houses out of blocks, argue passionately about forgettable things, and also, from time to time, steal away to a dark corner and “play doctor.” While my memories of these risque games may be a bit degraded over time, I do remember them always being respectful and mutually agreeable. These were our little secret times alone, when we pretended to be husband and wife and explored our bodies, our desires, and our emerging notions of intimacy–and no one knew about it. However, I think if we had had access to a digital camera or a cell phone with photo capabilities, we, as naive children, would have likely snapped a few pictures for posterity.
At risk of offending nearly everyone who remains squeamish about the mixing of childhood and sexuality, I am dredging up this bit of personal history to provide commentary on the latest controversial flame surrounding the practice of “Sexting.” For the uninitiated, “sexting” is the act of sending, receiving, or forwarding naked, or scantily clad, photos of yourself or others through your cell phone. This “sexting” craze has apparently gained tremendous popularity among teens who, while hormone-addled and working through their various identities, like to look at naked pictures of themselves and others. Budding technology + budding adolescent sexuality = rampant moral firestorm. I think we all should have seen this one coming.
Obviously, the “sexting” trend, enabling bazillions of pictures of naked teenagers to orbit haphazardly around the telecommunications sphere, has been cause for a great deal of concern for parents, teachers, school administrators, legislators, and yes, even teenagers themselves. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy recently published a study suggesting one in five teens had sent or posted images of themselves in various stages of undress. The proposed solution to the problem has ranged from confiscating mobile phones and making them forbidden on school grounds (thus driving the issue entirely underground in revival of that flawed “don’t ask, don’t tell” logic) to prosecuting offending teens on child pornography charges, forever marking temporarily dumb and hormonal teenagers as sex offenders.
Many child development experts, as well as child psychologists, would argue that both preadolescents and teenagers engaging in this behavior are emotionally and mentally unable to thoroughly grasp the consequences of their actions. But even if they were, by electing to criminalize “sexting” among teenagers as a form of child pornography, we are overlooking the fact that most of these teens are not sexual predators and likely have grand plans of producing or distributing child pornography. The laws currently on the books pertaining to child pornography endeavor to protect children from the dangers of sexual exploitation. These same laws should not be modified to prosecute and unfairly stigmatize imprudent and unthinking children as sex offenders themselves. Sure, in cases involving threats and harassment, “sexting” should be prosecuted, but really this should be the exception to the rule.
The larger issue here is not the existence of naked pictures or the technology that enables these images to leapfrog from mobile to mobile with the press of a button. The issue is the problematic oil and water muddle that is sexuality and children. As parents, and adults, we are just about as mystified and ham-fisted in dealing with child sexuality as our children are. What results is discomfort, awkwardness, and bewilderment that is not only passed on to our children, but something that is internalized and that effectively casts them astray in a sea of uncharted human sexuality.
In the near future, I plan on delving into the hornet’s nest issue of child sexuality and how we could better prepare our children to make the right choices (I am not only talking about teen pregnancy and abstinence here) and take ownership of their own sexual identity. Until then, I would love to hear from parents, adults, and even teen readers of this blog (presuming they exist) about this issue of “sexting” and what is happening with the contemporary dialog between parents and children about sexuality. Have we progressed into a realm of a natural and conscientious mutual understanding, or are we still treading the same old dark waters of ignorance and personal embarrassment?
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47 comments
add your comment »I'm a 14 year old girl in 9th grade and I know of many people who have "sexted". It actually got so bad, the councelors at our school have gone around to each class and talked about the dangers of "sexting." One of my good friends, has sent pictures to guys when they asked for them and she regrets it now because people spread rumors all the time about her and call her hurtful names. There is also a guy I have really liked (pretty much obsessed over) for the past year and she said he asked her for pictures every night for 8 days in a row and she wouldn't send them to him. I really don't see the point, I mean, I guess I do because guys want to see naked girls all the time, but I don't know why. Like, what's the big deal with it, "Wow! A naked girl! That's amazing!!" Yeah, as amazing as that is... I don't know, I just don't get why it's such a big deal.
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Kabin
Konteyner
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I am surprised by this blog. I am a 16 year old teenager and I had not heard of this "sexting" I believe that it would be unjust if they would convict teens for this kind of thing because all pre-teens and teens do stupid things in consequence of their hormones acting up, and later find out that what they did is wrong and they learn to correct themselves.
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Great points, all. While these children should not be criminally prosecuted, the consequences for their futures might be just as bad: potential employers, college admissions agents, military recruiters, etc, finding these things on the Internet could ruin the child's chances for pursuit of the future they choose. A high price to pay for being young and stupid - a condition we have all experienced, just in the past it wasn't broadcast all over the Internet!
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Omar, I think every bit helps . Because even when you do teach your kids the best you can, we still have no control over there friends and there families. I feel things like that should have been put in place before just throwing it out to the public and have so many fall pray to the over exposure, harassment and abuse that can follow. We cant just keep our kids locked up for ever, we should be able to freely enjoy a game or two on the computer with out worries of private chat rooms that claim they are PG site and have 40 year old men talking to are kids. I have seen so many ways that kids can get around parental controls and eventually they become big enough they are left by there self. That kind of stuff should not even have accesses available unless you show proof of age. You can accesses all this stuff on phones, computers and it doesn't even have to be your phone or computer maybe your neighbor. These people that put this stuff out there act like they want everyone to be addicted to the stuff, they dont care, its your money and they will take it. It just makes me mad and it seems like there is no end, where does it stop,when does it.
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This is a very interesting and pressing discussion. I am concerned about my kids doing something for the sake of fun, peer pressure and getting scared for their lives.
Doing research for my company, to understand the extent of the problem, I am surprised how many new article published I was able to find just in the last 2 months.
I am building a service for mobile phones, which helps parents to connect and protect their kids with mobile phones. In today's life on the Go! ability to monitor where your kids are and what they are doing with their phones, what they are posting on Myspace or SMS. Parents and do it from a simple web page without and software or wires and need to connect the phone to the computer.
Would like to hear what parents think about the value of such a service.
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The materialistically-driven societal downgrading of the family unit is to blame. Get to the core of the problem and not be distracted and choose to act upon it Allopathically for goodness sake ~
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there is not such a thing as a community without values. There are OTHER values, we just don't agree with and that for many (good and bad) reasons.
I guess this discourse is turning more into an "orientalism" within our "culture". It began with the mass media and technologie. Just as cultures changed through the invention of fastest transportation systems. We are shocked by this transformation, while it's part of history. And being shocked as well.
If we want "evolution" we must take all it comes with it. And not think that for instance laws and constitutions are made perfect and forever. These must adapt as well.
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Very well said Julieta S.. Sex and nudity is not the problem. There is so much down grade to what it is all about. They need to be educated by grown ups not through there peers. I understand there is a natural curiosity to it . It is lacking so much respect and no value behind what they learn. It has gotten to the point that no matter where you look you see nudity in some way or another. I just saw it on a Birthday card after a 3 year old was waving it around. This is the part that has been down graded, to just down right cheesy stuff. This is not sex education its disrespecting someones body someway or another. The real problem comes when the child learns on his own and it becomes an addiction, or harassment, or other problems can come out of it. I hate to see a child get the full effect of the law on this matter because they are not fully grown and dont understand the full effects of the consequences. But I do understand something needs to be done.
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My sex talk at 13 wasn't the best, to say the least (and I already knew the "ins and outs" of sex), but I turned out ok. I still think cell phones for an emergency is a good idea WHEN THE CHILD IS OLDER AND IS WANTING LESS ADULT SUPERVISION. Which is obviously the problem.
Most of the time kids don't need the phones, but it does come down to YOU and HOW RESPONSIBLE you think your kids are. MEANING you yourself have had talks with your child about respect in all instances.
Even with that said, Teens do what they want to do. It has been happening for centuries and it won't stop for our generation.
Parents need to accept responsibility and go blue in the face repeating these things because that's how kids learn. We make them aware. What they decide to do with the information you provided, that's another story.
Young girls and boys who think they are in love will still send nude pics of themselves, if they have the means. But it is not right to condemn the reciever of those pics unless they send them to others. I don't think it's right to dub a 16 year old as a sex offender for the rest of their life because their one month younger "significant other" of the month gave them a nude pic. They didn't ask for it.
Parents are just getting lazy if you ask me, and since the sex topic was taboo for their parents to talk about for them, they aren't informing their children, either. Then they wonder where they went wrong.
Don't blame the system for your inattentiveness
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