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Thank You For Betraying Me

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Thank You For Betraying Me

It is easy to be grateful for the birth and continued health of my children, the wild blackberries that ripen by the thousands every day in the woods around my home, and that I found — and have enough sense to treasure — the love of my life.

I have a great deal less ease feeling grateful when the children want to visit while I’m trying to write, or their coach adds a tournament to the schedule that conflicts with a workshop I plan to attend, or I receive an email explaining that they haven’t turned in a Spanish project they’ve known about for four months.

The blackberries come with thorns, ticks, and snakes. Meeting my wife was an unexpected and most brilliant development in the previously disastrous and heartbreaking romantic storyline of my life. Best friends sometimes move away, beautiful things sometimes get broken, and far too often it is affirmed that the good really do die young.

In times like these, thankfulness is rarely the first emotion to flood into my body. I can find fear in all of its most common manifestations — anger, depression, jealousy, greed, procrastination, anxiety, confusion, sadness, desperation, etc. — and it is easy to be overwhelmed by them, to feel powerless against what’s being done to me.

This first perception of myself as victim opens a door that, if I believe myself incapable of closing it, welcomes the next one and the next. This could easily become the only life that I can remember having…

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Christy Diane Farr

Christy Diane Farr is a catalyst. If that sounds like something you want more of in your life, visit 'The Greenhouse' at SeedsAndWeedsCoaching.com and join the Wildflower Evolution on Facebook.

14 comments

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3:54PM PDT on Sep 15, 2012

Thank you for sharing.

9:38PM PDT on Jun 25, 2012

When you have been treated unjustly or personnally harmed, the natural emotion is anger/depression.. People lose jobs, lose their homes, lose loved ones.Sometimes hard to overcome.But it is the "past" and we have to move on, no matter how hard it may seem at the time. Trust there was a reason, and we hopefully grow with greater strength, and a better life. Been there many times in my life, and have learned lessons fom them. Hope you can relate also. thanks

10:48AM PDT on Jun 17, 2012

The more I fought back against my oppressors and trusted my own intuition, the more power I gained and it's my voice.

10:05AM PDT on Jun 16, 2012

Ah, Christy, you say it so well! People are always asking me how I can be so positive about everything and I am not totally sure except that when I was a little girl, the doctors told my mother (in front of me) that I was going to die and she should put her energies into her other two children. I remember thinking, "Like hell I will." and I began loving every day no matter if I was in pain or not. I did everything I wanted to do and saw the silver lining and I also saw the good in people and voiced my feelings. I cared about everything and still do. I fooled that doctor...I am 74 next month. Ha Ha!

7:31AM PDT on Jun 16, 2012

" My integrity morphs into a weapon I begin to use to abuse myself " so so many times in the past, fortunately I did come to the realization that everyone of those situations - the good and the bad - are what have gotten me to the path I am on today: to be my trueself
Thankyou for this!!!

9:58PM PDT on Jun 15, 2012

Thanks and good luck C.

9:39PM PDT on Jun 15, 2012

noted

6:54PM PDT on Jun 15, 2012

Cool....gratitude attitude for experiences that create who we are. I gotta remember that when I feel stressed....

12:40PM PDT on Jun 15, 2012

"The longer I stay there — held in that view of myself as a victim of another person or a situation or an organization — the more disconnected I become from myself. My sense of power, my intuition, and magical nature become strangers to me."

BOOM!

12:39PM PDT on Jun 15, 2012

"The longer I stay there — held in that view of myself as a victim of another person or a situation or an organization — the more disconnected I become from myself. My sense of power, my intuition, and magical nature become strangers to me."

Boom!

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