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The Best Friend You’ll Ever Have: Meditation

The Best Friend You’ll Ever Have: Meditation

Honestly speaking we cannot imagine how our lives would be without meditation. As soon as we become still and quiet we enter a calm spaciousness within which questions are answered, while difference and dramas dissolve. Such stillness always comes as a great relief from the madness each day can contain.

Some years ago we were attending a silent meditation retreat. Each day we were asked if we were feeling happier than we were the day before. The inquiring monk had a contagious smile, knowing that we were each confronting numerous obstacles to our happiness, primarily the ones in our own heads.

Yet despite his humor, the monk’s question was sincere. If we were not beginning to feel happier from practicing meditation, then what was the point of doing it?

We were asked the same question each day. To begin with this emphasized how preoccupied we were with inner confusion, doubts, conflicts, and discomfort, even how difficulties could actually feel more familiar than joy. Yet, why be there if we were struggling so much that we weren’t enjoying it?

Our smiley monk was teaching us that it is vital to make friends with meditation, that it is not your adversary. Rather, meditation is a companion to have throughout life, like a best friend we turn to when things get hard to deal with and we are in need of inspiration, clarity, and even inner happiness.

Admittedly, meditation can sometimes appear insurmountable, but it is our own mind that contains the obstacles, not the practice of sitting quietly, as the chattering mind can create endless dramas. Practicing meditation means slowly and gently training the mind to do something it may not have done before: be quiet and still.

One way to overcome resistance and make meditation your friend is to start by just sitting for a few minutes at a time, instead of feeling you have to meditate, and then feeling guilty if you miss the allotted time or only do 10 minutes when you had said you would do 30. It’s far more important to practice for just a few minutes and to enjoy what you are doing, than to sit there, teeth gritted, because you have been told that only 30 minutes will have any affect.

If your purpose is to try to achieve a quiet mind then the trying itself will create tension and failure. Instead, you are just with whatever is happening in the moment, whether it is pleasant or unpleasant. No judgment, no right or wrong. Watching whatever arises and letting it go is all that is required. It is more of an undoing than a doing.

During meditation we gently let go of distractions so we can genuinely be present. Like a child watching an ant walking down the sidewalk carrying a crumb, that is all that exists in their world at that moment. They are not thinking about what they had for breakfast, or what they will do with their best friend at their next play date. They are only watching the ant.

Meditation enables us to stop trying, to let go of the story, the dramas, our stressed mind, and to discover an inner easefulness. Some people describe this as a sense of coming home, as if they had been away or out of touch with themselves without even realizing it; others experience it as a huge relief as there is a release of anxiety and self-centeredness and they enter into a more peaceful state of being. And many feel as if they are simply hanging out with a good old friend, always there when needed.

7 Reasons It’s Hard to Meditate
8 Ways Meditation Can Change Your Life
The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Stress


To experience how meditation is your friend, join us for a 4-week webinar starting July 9th.

A 4-week webinar (online course) with Ed and Deb Shapiro on discovering the greatest gift you can give yourself: meditation. Clear your mind, open your heart, and dive into the wonder of your own true self. Starts July 09, 2012. Webinar: Meditation Is Not What You Think

Read more: Blogs, Ed and Deb, Health, Inspiration, Mental Wellness, Self-Help, Spirit, Stress, , ,

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Ed and Deb Shapiro

You can learn more in our book, Be The Change: How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Marianne Williamson, Jane Fonda, Ram Dass, Byron Katie and others. Our 3 meditation CD’s: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at:


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10:32AM PST on Mar 9, 2013

thank you, it inspires me to go back to meditating again.

8:24AM PDT on Jul 31, 2012

For those of us with the luxury of some time to spare, even if it is brief, meditation can be comforting and tranquil, a quiet idyllic time to claim for ourselves, helping ourselves to heal and grow in many ways. Obviously if one is drowning there is no time to meditate but most of us have some time on our hands.

7:05PM PDT on Jul 25, 2012

Yes it can be difficult to find peace and happiness in this violent world; however, we must start with ourselves and those around us. As my mother used to say, "Brighten the corner where you are." For an incredibly easy and powerful meditation technique, check out Mark Whitwell's The Promise:

5:02PM PDT on Jul 15, 2012

Sometimes I don't act like meditation is a friend, but your article helps... as always. Thank you!

6:45AM PDT on Jul 7, 2012

thanks for sharing...

6:09PM PDT on Jul 6, 2012

something I definitely need to learn. :/

9:07PM PDT on Jul 5, 2012

Why is it, when we know about the benefits about meditation, that we still don't really commit to doing it regularly? Probably because we don't want to sit with "gritted teeth" and endure 20-30 minutes! Good advice here! Emptying the mind makes space for divine intuition to flow in as well...

9:01PM PDT on Jul 5, 2012

One step at a time for refreshing quiet and peace....

8:51AM PDT on Jul 5, 2012

Thanks for the inspirational piece. It shows that we all have within us the power to make ourselves happy and content. There is not something 'out there' that will do that, but only the settling and calming of our own minds.

8:33PM PDT on Jul 4, 2012

I believe members read these articles to be inspired and feel positve. Then there's always "Debbie Downer", who always has a negative comment/opinion. Makes me wonder why she reads these???

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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