All signs point to the fact that Iím a helper.
Over the past twenty-five years Iíve taken test after test and read book after book: Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, Linda Goodmanís†Sun Signs, astrology, the color code, you name it, and continually found that Iím the helper. Hell, I was even born on the same day as Mother †Teresa.† Oh, and Mother Teresa is also an INFJ. (Just hammering it home, people.)
Type 2 on the Enneagram: The Helper
According to†this site, ďTwos are warm, emotional people who care a great deal about their personal relationships, devote an enormous amount of energy to them, and who†expect to be appreciated for their efforts. TheyÖ thrive in the helping professionsÖ Helping others makes Twos feel good about themselves; being needed makes them feel important; being selfless, makes Twos feel virtuousÖ Because Twos are generally helping†others meet their needs, they can forget to take care of their own. This can lead to physical burnout, emotional exhaustion and emotional volatility.Ē
Here is how most of the relationships in my lifetime have played out – with friends, families, boyfriends, the post man, the clerk at the gas station, the teenager bagging my groceries, my dogÖ
What do you need?
Let me get it for you.
I can jump that high. Count on me.
I can cross those level 10 rapids wearing my tattered pea coat and purple galoshes, you just relax. Iíve got this.
HmmmÖ that doesnít feel so good to me but here it is anyway. Take it, Iím yours.
Refrain ad infinitum.
Ah, youíve hurt my feelings but I donít want to inconvenience you or make you feel bad by telling you. Besides, Iím probably just being ridiculous. I want to be sure your feelings arenít hurt. I can handle anything so itís better if I hurt than if you hurt.
I need something. Someone to talk to. Iím suffering. Iím not happy. Iím burnt out. My feelings are crushed. Oh, but Dear God, I canít ask. I would never ask. You need to be a mind reader and know that Iím not doing well. Just like I sense, intuitively, when youíre not doing well. Your intuition should be as developed as mine.
I get nothing. (And yet Iíve asked for nothing.)
Iím done. I sever ties with an x-acto knife and deathly precision.