The Hidden Spirituality of Men

By Matthew Fox, Ode Magazine

I know of a renowned scientist who has a large sweat lodge in his backyard where he and his wife do regular sweats led by Native Americans. They even know the ancient songs in the Lakota language. But no one at the university where he works is aware of his spiritual practice. It’s hidden from them. His is one of the best-kept secrets of our culture: Many men are profoundly spiritual and care deeply about their spiritual lives.

What’s no secret is that men today are in trouble. And these troubles affect everyone. The warring of our species continues, from Iraq to Sri Lanka, from Lebanon to Somalia; the U.S. government sells more weaponry worldwide than even entertainment. Meanwhile, global warming is a global warning: a warning that we’re not doing well as a species and as a planet. One out of four mammal species is dying out.

In fact, young men are also disappearing. In Baltimore, Maryland, in the shadow of America’s capital, 76 percent of young black men aren’t graduating from high school. It’s no secret that failed education frequently leads to incarceration, and as a result, more young black men are in prison than in college in the U.S. For many inner-city youth, it’s cooler and more manly to go to jail than to get a degree.

For years I’ve been writing as a male feminist—indeed that was the No. 1 objection to my theology voiced by the chief inquisitor general of our day, Cardinal Ratzinger (now Pope Benedict XVI), when he expelled me from the Dominican Order, saying I was a “feminist theologian.” But what I’m saying now is in no way a denial of my previous work; rather it’s a logical extension of it. Women have been recovering their stories and their archetypes. Where are the men in the awakening our species needs so badly? Where is the healthy masculine in men and in women?

Our culture has latched onto images of God as male and then defined for us what male means. Male means winning (being No. 1 in sports, business, politics, academia), going to war (“kill or be killed”), being rational, not emotional (“boys don’t cry”) and embracing homophobia (fear of male domination). Male means domination, lording over others—whether nature, one’s own body, women or others.

Thomas Berry, a Catholic priest of the Passionist Order and an eco-theologian, talks about the need for “The Great Work.” What is this Great Work? It’s “the task of moving modern industrial civilization from its present devastating influence on the Earth to a more benign mode of presence.” Such a great work will require great spirits, real warriors, and it will require steering our moral outrage and our powers of competition in more positive directions.

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Read more: Guidance, Inspiration, Love, Mental Wellness, Relationships, Sex, Spirit, men, Spirit

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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9:00PM PDT on Jun 14, 2009

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Lesley P.

7:54AM PDT on Jun 5, 2009

Candace I couldn't agree with you more. I'm not a mother however there are a lot of momma's boys out there. They need to learn the balance and understand the cycle of a woman. All most of them do is compare us to a female dog. IF they understood the menstrual cycle and menopause tehy might understand us a little better. My partner right now we think is experiancing peri-menopause and we'll find out in 2 weeks and if she is I can help her because I've been there. She can't go to her family because they all had hysterectomies so they don't know about it either but I do because I was going through it ebforw my hyterectomy last November. She got to Experiance that with me. It was awesome for both of us and a great learning tool fo both of us.

Candace W.

8:09PM PDT on Jun 4, 2009

Great article, but I fear the promise of change lies with the forthcoming generations and their parents, specifically their mothers. My grandmother used to say that the first women some men learn to use and exploit are their mothers. And she is right, a lot of women today are still spoiling their sons ridiculously, being over attentive, 'helicoptering' I believe is the term, and are not teaching their sons proper balance. And though I will probably get hit over the heads for saying this, simply making the choice to have children without the benefit of having a man around in some way, shape or form, doesn't help either.

I would like to the mothers of future generations give their sons a better education of what it is especially like to be a woman; (there are still some men that don't understand why a woman has a menstrual cycle) and with that, teach the values of love, patience, individuality, balance, intuition, trust, vulnerability and an abhorance of violence. Women have aided and abetted men's behavior for too long, and now that we have more power in this century than ever before, if there are young males in our lives, the power lies within us, to form warriors, instead of soldiers.

But even before making the decision to have children, women must learn TO BE BALANCED AND WHOLE........

And that's a whole nother' story!

Vijay C.

8:57AM PDT on Apr 19, 2009

Dear Donald, :)
...but whenever the warrior fights, he assumes that it is necessary for him to fight. Is your male archetype, 'the guardian' , who doesn't fight 'unnecessarily', any different at all ?

Donald W.

3:32PM PDT on Apr 14, 2009

I think that it is important to go beyond the warrior and towards the guardian. Merriam Webster defines warrior as: "A man engaged or experienced in warfare." Does anyone see the problem here? How are we to go beyond a destructive, conqueror society if we still uphold the warrior model as ideal? I believe we need to look towards the original male archetype - the guardian. He protects and defends his family, or in the case of society, the weak, the underdog. A great guardian doesn't fight unnecessarily. He doesn't have false bravado. He knows himself. He is calm, filled with inner peace, and assertive. He can be true to himself.

8:05AM PDT on Apr 8, 2009

I think you can find a good start in the website www.ishafoundation.org (i.e.) if you have no spiritual practices to get you on your 'WAY' right now. I am deeply impressed by Sadguru Jaggi Vasudev and his methods.

1:37PM PDT on Apr 7, 2009

As a woman in recovery I am constantly in awe of some of the mens spirituality. Some of these men put some o the women I know to shame with their spirituality. When I see a man show true emotion I have great admiration for them. I just wish all men could show their feelings w/o shame. There is nothing to be ashamed of and I know a lot of it is from their upbringing. Real men DON'T cry. So the message that's being sent is if you show emotion and cry, you're weak. That is so wrong. When I see a man struggling by not crying I tell them it's ok to cry it helps cleanse the soul and the truth will set you free. So listen up men it's ok to be spiritual, emotional and show it. Blessed Be and God Bless you all.

Don M.

3:30PM PDT on Apr 6, 2009

Very Nicely Done Veronica!