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The Meaning of Sex

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The Meaning of Sex

We are the recorders and reporters of facts–not the judges of the behaviors we describe.  -Alfred Kinsey

What does sex mean to you? While no one else can provide an intrinsic meaning to the concept or practice of sexuality we all struggle with defining this most basic and integral part of ourselves. The desire to name and define the sexual experience in a general way is the source of much conflict for the individual, the couple and the culture. Thinking of sex as an emergent rather than objective reality is a good place to start. We come to understand our sexuality and its meaning moment by moment, re-inventing it anew each and every time we are sexual.

Our fears of sexuality arise in part from the unpredictable nature of the act itself and the intensity of impulse, feeling and power which has the potential to overwhelm us as much as it does to transform us and our relationships. The transcendent quality of sexuality is the forbidden fruit that religion has tried to shield us from for millennia. Sexuality is frightening because each time we move into it, the outcome is never certain, never the same and the risks never cease. The desire and simultaneous fear of being consumed in its fire is fertile ground for all kinds of addiction and dysfunction.

Our sexual urges are borne in the body and are processed in the right brain, which makes the sexual experience a felt one, more than a cognitive one. In fact, trying to think through it usually cuts off our ability to experience it at all. The mental unpacking of a sexual experience denies its core sensuality, like dissecting the nutritional elements of an extravagant dish.

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Read more: Health, Love, Making Love Sustainable, Relationships, Sex

Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.

54 comments

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7:55AM PDT on Jun 2, 2010

Sex has meaning to the participants, no one else. The level of sexual gratification experienced by each is based on the components each is willing to share honestly & openly with the other.

4:50AM PDT on Apr 26, 2010

Interesting!

12:03AM PDT on Apr 24, 2010

noted

3:24PM PDT on Apr 22, 2010

Interesting post

3:23PM PDT on Apr 22, 2010

very interesting article

11:43AM PDT on Apr 20, 2010

interesting post

10:57AM PDT on Apr 20, 2010

Great article love it thanks.

10:12AM PDT on Apr 20, 2010

Wow. What a fantastic article. Thank you!

8:03AM PDT on Apr 20, 2010

perhaps we should try to not make it so complicated? feel - don´t think...

2:12AM PDT on Apr 20, 2010

The desire to give sex meaning is an understandable, important enterprise. Honestly approached, it can be a valuable exercise; disguised as the righteous desire to simply appreciate the meaning sex has, or as the pursuit of restoring sex's "true" meaning, it is a common source of conflict for both individuals and society.
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