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The Mysterious O: Getting There

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The Mysterious O: Getting There

Having an orgasm starts with feeling aroused. “No arousal, no orgasm.” Arousal begins in the brain, specifically the limbic area of the brain where our sense of smell intersects with our emotional process, our memory store and our sexuality. Vibrations of arousal and eventually orgasm live in the body and are triggered in the brain. Trust your sense of smell and indulge your olfactory in whatever scents turn you on. Napoleon was well known for requesting his wife to not wash for a week when he was coming home, whereas for other people axe body wash is the ultimate in sexy smells, whatever it is know that our olfactory system has always been foundational to the art of mating and use it to your advantage.

Arousal is a visceral experience and bodies are built for motion. Nowhere is this more useful than in sexual exploration. Although this may seem like stating the obvious, it is not a small percentage of people who tense up and stop moving around in their sexual activity. There is more than hip thrusting to experiment with. Experimenting with moving all of your limbs, rolling your neck and stretching into new positions can trigger arousal points that you didn’t know you had. If you can think of no other reason that wanting to understand more about your orgasmic potential, try and fit in a little bit of core strengthening exercises into your life. Being able to hold onto someone you love from the inside will make you feel both strong and sexy.

Arousal is expressed through our breathing. Becoming aware of breath in sexuality will bring life and orgasm into focus like nothing else. Whether you tend towards long and slow breaths or short, fast inhalations, stop and notice how your breathing affects your connection to your body, your lover and your orgasmic possibilities. Try changing your breathing pattern and see how it transforms the experience. Making an agreement with your partner to synchronize your breathing and movement is a remarkably simple step which has profound impact on lovemaking. Refocusing your breathing will not only deepen your connection, but may also expand your idea of orgasm.

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


+ add your own
4:40PM PST on Nov 13, 2013

What's the big deal about the big O ?? - I can solve this mystery any time of day... Heh,heh,heh....

8:27AM PDT on Oct 27, 2013

Thank you for sharing.

6:33AM PDT on Oct 8, 2013


1:02AM PDT on Oct 4, 2013


1:35AM PDT on Sep 24, 2013

Actually I copy it, and I will read later at home :)
Just like with many articles...

1:32AM PDT on Sep 24, 2013

I also thank you :)

7:29PM PDT on Jul 17, 2013

Thank you :)

5:23PM PST on Dec 23, 2012


The above written in caps to ensure that all male readers, cannot claim they lost their glasses!

10:06AM PDT on May 19, 2012


9:09PM PDT on May 20, 2011


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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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