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Loading...The Mysterious O: Getting There
- Wendy Strgar
- April 15, 2011
- 11:01 am
- 71 comments
Having an orgasm starts with feeling aroused. “No arousal, no orgasm.” Arousal begins in the brain, specifically the limbic area of the brain where our sense of smell intersects with our emotional process, our memory store and our sexuality. Vibrations of arousal and eventually orgasm live in the body and are triggered in the brain. Trust your sense of smell and indulge your olfactory in whatever scents turn you on. Napoleon was well known for requesting his wife to not wash for a week when he was coming home, whereas for other people axe body wash is the ultimate in sexy smells, whatever it is know that our olfactory system has always been foundational to the art of mating and use it to your advantage.
Arousal is a visceral experience and bodies are built for motion. Nowhere is this more useful than in sexual exploration. Although this may seem like stating the obvious, it is not a small percentage of people who tense up and stop moving around in their sexual activity. There is more than hip thrusting to experiment with. Experimenting with moving all of your limbs, rolling your neck and stretching into new positions can trigger arousal points that you didn’t know you had. If you can think of no other reason that wanting to understand more about your orgasmic potential, try and fit in a little bit of core strengthening exercises into your life. Being able to hold onto someone you love from the inside will make you feel both strong and sexy.
Arousal is expressed through our breathing. Becoming aware of breath in sexuality will bring life and orgasm into focus like nothing else. Whether you tend towards long and slow breaths or short, fast inhalations, stop and notice how your breathing affects your connection to your body, your lover and your orgasmic possibilities. Try changing your breathing pattern and see how it transforms the experience. Making an agreement with your partner to synchronize your breathing and movement is a remarkably simple step which has profound impact on lovemaking. Refocusing your breathing will not only deepen your connection, but may also expand your idea of orgasm.
Read more: Health, Love, Relationships, Sex
Wendy Strgar
Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family. In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy, she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative advice. It has been called "the essential guide for relationships." The book is available on ebook. Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.
Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may
not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.
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It all depends how it feels at the time, if you both feel like it no worries!!! Cheers.
Interesting reading... Thanks for sharing
Thanks. The danger of drowning and the ways of preventing it can never be stressed enough.
71 comments
+ add your ownALL MEN NEED TO TAKE WOMEN AROUSAL CLASSES AND DO NOT DROP OUT UNTIL YOUR PARTNER SAYS "BABY YOU'VE GOT IT" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The above written in caps to ensure that all male readers, cannot claim they lost their glasses!
Lærerikt!
Ta!
I think that many women also need to be either physically or emotionally more relaxed also. Go do what you need, a soak in the tub, ask your lover to give you a massage, etc... and be receptive to it.
There's nothing like enjoying your partner as much as he enjoys you in the same way.
I have been married 20 years and we have a wonderful passoniate sex life. I think one reason is we really are best friends and lovers and we always talk and touch each other - before, during and after. We're 58 and 78 - it's really true what they say "you're not getting older you're getting better".
Interesting. thanks.
@ Andrew K - What kind of a nutjob would make a statement like this:
"The vagina shrinks in length by two thirds when the knees are put up to the chest. Thus, in this position the penis is three times longer. The cervix must be put back in position by gently tickling it aftewards."
THanks
Thank you, Wendy, you described the 'most miraculous of human pleasures' perfectly....
Oh dear, Andy Kadir-buxton, it must be awful when you completely misunderstand the message
@ Andy Kadir-buxton - This sounds like a crock to me. Leave it to a man to tell a woman how to have an orgasm! And, in addition, the whole "G spot" discovery within the last 25+ years or so [after thousands upon thousands of years of people having sex] is still not flying with most women.
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