Extending the space between arousal and orgasm is the art of lovemaking. Do your own solo experiments so you know the sensations and buildup that lead you to the point of no return. Practice pulling back from that line and introducing another form of touch or breath and move towards it again. I have long been an advocate of waiting as long as you can to surrender into your orgasm. The longer you wait, the more power and energy is built up and the sweeter the release. Some spiritual techniques suggest moving up and down this arousal tunnel, coming close as close to your orgasmic edge without going over as a spiritual practice. Sounds like a worthy form of meditation, and I don’t question it’s incredibly powerful results.
Arousal messages come through our body as genital secretions. As many as a third of all women do not have a strong natural lubricating response. This easily turns into feelings of low libido and disinterest in sex. After years of birthing and nursing babies, I never have natural wetness so I was heartened to discover that a small application of great, clean lubricant will kick start the arousal cycle as well as my memory of natural lubrication did. Not only that, but adding healthy lubricant ingredients ensures pain less friction, more time to experiment and is a critical companion to experiencing orgasm. I would be hard pressed to not admit to making the best lubricant on the market, but many people enjoy other types of lubricants- so find what is best for your body.
Fantasy can either be helpful or harmful to your orgasmic journey. Having fantasies that conjure up guilt and take you out of your physical experience and away from your partner are generally not going to move you closer to orgasm. However, imagining other illicit relationships for you and your partner, and here, you only need to read a small bit of sexual history can be seriously passion producing. I can never repeat the strange and fantastical thoughts that go through my head afterwards, but as I have come to bear witness to them, I have experienced whole new levels in my orgasmic potential.
So go forth, flirt with arousal, don’t judge your experience or compare it to anyone else’s and enjoy the ride.If there is any journey worth taking over and over again, it is the one to our most innate and miraculous human pleasure.