The Physical Effects of Falling in Love

By Allie Firestone, DivineCaroline

I like to think of myself as a logical, control-my-own destiny kind of girl. I think most of my friends see themselves as equally levelheaded. But recently a friend was describing the physical sensations she gets when she meets someone that she really likes–butterflies, sweaty palms, quick heartbeat. No matter how hard she tries to think her way out of this silliness, she can’t. Since we’ve all been there, I figured there had to be more to it, something powerful enough to give even the most strong-willed a run for her sanity. Hoping for some insight into why these feelings take over, I went looking for the science behind lust and love. Why, physiologically speaking, do these things happen, and what are they trying to tell us?

The Curse of Chemicals
“No matter what I tell myself, I’m always attracted to people who aren’t good for me,” says Lynn Miller, twenty-seven. “I tell myself to go for the nice, reliable men, but I can never resist the difficult, arrogant ones. It’s like I have no control.”

Hormones. Adrenaline. Pheromones. We’ve all read about the factors that supposedly cause us to be attracted to certain people, and there’s no denying that you can’t choose who you’re attracted to. But most people I spoke with, including myself, believe that real, life-changing love can’t exist without that unpredictable sweaty-palmed, stammering speech reaction–at least during the early stages. If this is true, the success of a relationship is based on a physical response that we have no control over.

Scientists have identified three chemicals at play: phenethylamine, dopamine, and oxytocin. They are secreted when we feel that initial attraction to someone and function like an amphetamine, keeping our mood elevated, senses extra alert, and giving us the urge to bond and attach to others. As these secretions increase, our attraction to the object of our desire intensifies, and we get more and more of those dizzy feelings.

So, with these “love” chemicals firing away, physical changes start happening, like–you guessed it–sweaty palms, feelings of euphoria, and light-headedness. It’s likely that Lynn’s problems are in part due to the chemicals coursing through her body.