Recovering from that disordered mentality, as you can imagine, required a sustained effort and a significant pool of resources – therapy, 12-step meetings, books, cash money, tears, family, mercy, and friends like you can’t imagine. Literally thousands of lessons and treasures live today, in me, from this transforming experience.
One of my favorite is the clarity-diffusing power of the word “should.” “Should” takes an otherwise simple statement and spreads it out, transforming a solid message into a string of words disconnected from action. Read these examples, then read them again substituting “should” for “will”:
Self-care - I will go to bed, so I can get 8 hours of sleep.
Family - I will leave work by 5, so I can get to my son’s soccer game.
Creativity - Painting helps me feel connected. I will find a class, so I can paint once a month.
Using “will” declares an ACTION. Using “should” doesn’t declare anything, except perhaps the awareness that action would bring you into alignment with your goals (and that you are not, in fact, acting). It’s far more inspiring to declare action instead of declaring awareness that action is required!