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The Vagina Dialogues

Couple this lack of information for decades with a lingering fear to look at and/or explore our private parts and it is easy to see how so many women have had so little access or experience with their pleasure centers. In my new favorite book: Women’s Anatomy of Arousal, author Sheri Winston (a midwife for 20 years) describes the layers of female sexual anatomy as a journey to a sacred temple. She also provides clear hand-drawn images that she did herself, which show both the separate parts and their relationship to each other. Reflecting on how the world would be different for millions of us had we all been privileged to her compassionate and straightforward anatomy lessons is like imagining a true revolution in self love.

The truth is that building a working vocabulary for our most intimate physiology is foundational to developing the more expressive capacity of our language to communicate about what feels good when, how and where. Acquiring the terms that define the physiology of the visible vaginal parts- the mons pubis, labia major and minor and clitoral head and hood is the starting point to fully grasping the erectile wonders of those same body parts and their connection to the complex internal organs they arouse. Sheri devotes an entire chapter to understanding the intricate physiological cause and effects that transform arousal into orgasm for both women and men. It is a fascinating anatomy lesson for both genders to recognize how our arousal mechanisms are similar in capacity while  having intriguing differences in location that make all the difference to our experience.

Allowing oneself the privilege of understanding one of the most complex and highly enervated areas of the body is one way to access the pleasure capacity we are all born with. Giving both voice and names to the vagina might just be one of the most sexually respectful acts we can commit in our lifetime and is sure to awaken your curiosity and capacity for pleasure.

Read more: Ask the Loveologist, Gynecology, Love, Relationships, Sex, Spirit, Women's Health,

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


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4:45AM PST on Dec 6, 2011

Thanks for the article.

8:54AM PDT on Mar 31, 2011

i get constipated only during my period, worse now than ever. any of you girls have this problem ? any ideas why and what i can do
thanks, jen

9:17AM PDT on Mar 21, 2011

Oh, after this post I want to have sex so much... :)

12:32AM PDT on Mar 19, 2011

I did once what, I think she was Annie Sprinkle recommended, which was to look at it with a mirror. Well, that was interesting. I didn't get what the big deal was, but at least I knew where stuff was which is the first step to getting to know it. Anyone remember the parties where women all got in a circle and looked with mirrors? I couldn't do that.

7:31AM PDT on Mar 16, 2011

Thanks for the really great article

12:31PM PDT on Mar 15, 2011

great post---thank you....very important info.

3:31PM PDT on Mar 14, 2011

The better "educated" the man is,the greater pleasure his partner will enjoy! Probably fewer divorces too,as a happy really involved couple will rarely be looking elsewhere.

4:08AM PDT on Mar 14, 2011

I've given my 11 year old "the talk" this last summer. We home school, so I went into more detail than what most mom's would do. He asks questions, I answer. We also talked about how we shouldn't use it as a force against others, and it's supposed to be a fun & loving act between two people who want to do it...

Of course part 2 will be coming up, and well, it's a good thing I don't get embarrassed easily.

Back to the blog... many times too often, we don't know what we like, because it's been taught to us through generations how it's wrong to be sexual as a woman. It's high time we break the indoctrination cycle, and start understanding women's sexuality better, and our partners will love us all the more for it. Trust me.

1:58PM PDT on Mar 13, 2011

Great and inspiring article :)

7:02AM PDT on Mar 13, 2011

Brian M.--I don't think the GOP (or the Dems) really care about vaginas or any other part of the human anatomy. Women's issues/rights is an entirely separate subject.

Beyond that, as the article implies, there is a lot of confusion/myth, inappropriate material and teaching surrounding sexuality and love. Such topics should be tactfully and objectively discussed or taught at the appropriate time, age and forum.

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