http://www.care2.com/greenliving/three-dangers-in-relationship.html
The 3 Dangers In Relationship
Adapted from Facing the Lion, Being the Lion by Mark Nepo (Conari Press, 2007).
There are many ways to stumble in relationships, but a pattern of avoiding conflict is a huge one. What are the three dangers related to this avoidance pattern that we internalize and silence so that it grows in dark places like bacteria to become infected, hence to go on and destroy the relationship? Learn from these three dangers, here:
The first danger appears when, without having the courage to speak to those we are in conflict with, without the strength to inquire into the situation and gain as many views of what happened as possible, we start to fill in the spaces all by ourselves.
The second danger, worse than the first, and that comes from letting our made-up story harden into the history out of which we live. As time goes by, it becomes harder and harder to break the grip of our made-up story, and the more we hold on to our own uncorroborated version of things, the more difficult it is to restore relationships.
The third danger arises in which we cease to know the difference between what really happened and our fictional version of it. The French playwright Andre Gide puts it harshly, but to the point, “The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who starts to lie with sincerity.”
Robyn
Melissa
Deepak
Eric
Dave
Dr. Brent
Isha
Susan
Delia
Michelle
Wendy
Megan
Hilary
Ann
Judi
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Annie B.
Veronica
13 comments
add your comment »Wow, great read. So if it's gotten as far as the third danger can there be any hope of saving the relationship?
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bless you and your fortunate wife, michael - wish i could find an open, honest man w/ integrity
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heed these warning signs , be honest with yourself first, love yourself first. than think about "the one you spend the rest of your life with" No Secrets !
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I must admit that most human beings are guilty of succumbing to these three dangers in a relationship and this article is very inspirational, eye opening and can help heal most relationships that are in danger of extinction and that is why I highly recommend it.
Ikey Galacticca
scogostology.com
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Sounds like alot of overeagerness to compromise from persons unwilling to try being on his/her own ( by one'sself). R E Monaghan
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The one thing that is also true in any relationship is never go to bed angry at each other,because when you wake up the problem will still be eating at you,so have a peaceful converstaion after an arguement and resovle the peoblem.
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I've done all three and nearly ruined my marriage; my wife has paid an awesome for my deception and hypocrisy. It is incredibly difficult to break the pattern(s), but if you love yourself and you love your mate (and I do!)...you must.
Michael S.
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its true.i also fell that the communication gap coming in beteen plays dangerous role in destryoing the relationship.if both the partners talk friendly, many problems are solved
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very good advice
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the hardest thing to do..is to identify your
patterns and change them..for better outcome.
from a book called "advice from a failure"..
lizouttavegas
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