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Train Your Brain to Be Happy

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Train Your Brain to Be Happy

By Elisha Goldstein, PhD

If you were sitting in a room and on the left hand in a cage you saw a growling lion and on the right hand side in a cage was a scenes of a beautiful beach, which would your brain be drawn to?

If you guessed the lion, you’re right. That is because we’ve been trained over thousands of years to focus on the negative at the expense of the positive. If our ancestors spent their days being mindful of the beautiful scenery while enjoying their lunch, odds are not too much later, they were lunch. They needed to practice focusing on where the danger was to survive. Centuries later we inherited this very well crafted brain that is more attracted to the negative than the positive. Since we aren’t often in physical danger today, how does this automatic negativity bias show up in our minds?

Here are 3 examples of some common “Mind Traps” that we frequently fall into that move us further away from happiness:

Catastrophizing: If you’re prone to stress and anxiety, you may recognize this habitual mind trap. This is where the mind interprets an event as the worst case scenario. If your heart is beating fast, you may think you’re having a heart attack. If your boss didn’t look at you while walking down the hall, you think you’re going to get fired. You get the picture. This style of thinking will support increased stress, anxiety, and even panic.

Discounting the positive and exaggerating the negative: The news is wonderful at supporting us with this one. This is where we habitually reject or minimize any positive feedback and magnify the negative feedback. The glass is always half empty. If you catch yourself saying something positive and then saying “but” followed by a negative, you are practicing this. “I got a 95 percent on this test, but I didn’t get a 100 percent.” Without awareness, this style of thinking will likely land you in a depressed mood.

Blaming: Be careful of this one. We all do it, pointing the finger at someone else for our woes or point the finger at ourselves for others woes. “If my boss wasn’t so hard on me at work, I wouldn’t be so anxious” or “It’s my fault my parents got divorced.” Just check in with yourself after noticing this style of thinking. It doesn’t cultivate any solutions and just makes you feel stuck, anxious, or depressed.

The question is how can we rebalance this automatic nature of our brains toward greater happiness?

There are some basic practices we can use to begin retraining our brain to get some space from these mind traps and refocus on what truly matters. We can change our brain to handle stress better, be more empathic, happier, less fearful, and even enhance our learning and memory. Learning theory teaches us that what we practice and repeat in life becomes automatic and neuroscience is proving that we can change the architecture of our brains by intentionally paying attention with greater mindfulness.

“See, Touch, Go” is a technique I talk about in my new book The Now Effect and it simply means when your mind wanders onto a mind trap for example, “see” where it wandered to, “touch” or notice the thought, and “gently go” back to the task at hand. Practicing “See, Touch, Go” with our common mind traps, will strip away any of the wasted attention on self-judgment or any other distracting thoughts and get you back to the task with greater focus, making you more productive and less stressed.

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Read more: Exercises, Guidance, Mental Wellness, Self-Help, Spirit

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47 comments

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1:54PM PDT on Apr 15, 2014

Good stuff. Thanks for sharing.

5:14PM PDT on Oct 3, 2012

I'll try this one. I know how difficult it is to change.

8:21AM PDT on Jul 31, 2012

Interesting but there are some circumstances where looking outside yourself can bring some intriguing answers to valid questions.
As for the beach and lion question my first reaction was to go to beach, sand, water...after a long winter the lion would be a second choice. Besides my Tortishell would put any lion to shame!

9:32AM PDT on Jun 9, 2012

great article

5:24PM PDT on May 9, 2012

good reminder

5:07PM PDT on May 5, 2012

Thank you. The video is very helpful. Breathing exercises are great- everyone should learn these. It helps one to focus.

3:36AM PDT on Apr 30, 2012

I will use your way more..

Cheers,

Glosnifer.

7:48AM PDT on Apr 28, 2012

Thanks for the article and the breathe exercise. I needed those reminders!

8:56AM PDT on Apr 15, 2012

thank you. good article. excellent reminders

7:59AM PDT on Apr 15, 2012

thanks

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