Tropical Moments and Other Joys of Menopause

Menopause is one of those strange times when the body takes over and does its own thing beyond our control. Deb knows the ups and downs of menopause from years of sleepless nights spent flinging off the bed covers, feeling bloated like a beached whale, or getting bitchy for no reason.

We recently talked with Dr. Mache Seibel, director of the Complicated Menopause Program at Mass Medical School: “Menopause is a window of time like puberty backward. Puberty is when there are great body changes, hormonal changes, raging feelings and things that are going on that you don’t understand, and menopause is when there are raging feelings and body changes, emotions and things that you don’t understand. Women spend at least ten years in menopause but the benefits last for years to come: no need for contraception, no fear of pregnancy, children are leaving or have left home so there can be greater spontaneity and freedom. In other words, women can go from making babies to making love!”

As a seasoned veteran, Deb has meditated her way through the changes: Meditation is the most important thing I ever did for myself, over and above all the Chinese herbs, yam creams, or other remedies. One of the difficulties with having hot flashes, for instance, is the incredible longing to get away from the heat, whether by flinging open windows or running outside in the snow, but often such activity just increases the heat. Very simply, hot sweats increase with stress and decrease with deep relaxation. Being or sitting still releases all resistance and enables the body to cool down more quickly. Meditation also shows us how all things do pass, including such intense physical discomfort.

“We don’t stop enough in life, there is rarely a pause button we can push,” says Mache. “Music would not be pretty if there weren’t some rests in between the notes and meditation gives us that spaciousness. Menopause is one phase of life while meditation transcends all phases of life. It realigns and regroups the cells, atoms are aligned, molecules re-ordered. People should try meditation for 3 minutes, then for 5 or 6, until they find a space that fits their day.”

Most especially, menopause is when we can drop all the labels and come into our own sense of who we are. It is a time for us to emerge! We may want to start dancing or rock climbing, become a poet, write a book or work for the homelessówhatever it may be, now is the time to just do it!

Next: Red Hot Mama song

Mache has written a song to boost our menopausal spirits. Download the song and sing along:

RED HOT MAMA

Iím a red hot mama from my head to my feet

Sassy and brassy, sexy and sweet

Come a little closer (psssst), feel my heat

Yes Iím a red hot mama.† I like to exercise

Toning up my tummy, shaping my thighs

Men still lookiní at me; and I look at guys

(Chorus)

Iím good at conversation and Iím very good in bed

I know Iíve got some wrinkles but I still can turn a head

Iím through with makiní babies, now Iím makiní love instead

Just because Iím in the ďPauseĒ doesnít mean Iím dead, Ďcause Iím aÖ

Red hot mama who likes the company of men

Though now I drink my tonic with a splash of estrogen

I may be getting older, but Iím wiser now than then

(Repeat Chorus)

Iím a red hot mama, from my head to my feet

Sassy and brassy, sexy and sweet

Come a little closer (psssst), feel my heat

Red hot, red hot mama, Iím a red hot, red hot mama…..

(Machelle M. Seibel (ASCAP) © All rights reserved)

Mache will be teaching “Living Life to the Fullest at Menopause” at the Rincon Center for Human Flourishing in Costa Rica, February 24-28 2011. He will be joined by Karen Giblin, President of the Red Hot Mamas, as well as Ed and Deb Shapiro! Register now at the Rincon Center, or for more information email: programs@therincon.com

What does menopause mean to you? Do comment below.

Related:
6 Things Every Woman Should Know Before Menopause
Menopause: Prepare, Treat, Embrace
Food for Thought: What to Eat During Menopause

******

Love This? Never Miss Another Story.

56 comments

KS Goh
KS Goh3 years ago

Thanks for the article.

Beverly G.
bev G.4 years ago

Oh to add, also having sex, no worrys of pregnancy, well what about vaginismus? You dry out, no matter what lube u use, this is a big problem, penetration is very painful, in fact excruciating. Im glad im not with a partner now. and this is all along with thw wrinkles, the crepeness on ya arms, your bingo wings. Im sorry but im a perfectionist and i have always looked gud and wanted to keep looking gud but it just pisses me off that i think the guys got the better deal. nx time i pass this way i wanna be a man .

Beverly G.
bev G.4 years ago

Oh to add, also having sex, no worrys of pregnancy, well what about vaginismus? You dry out, no matter what lube u use, this is a big problem, penetration is very painful, in fact excruciating. Im glad im not with a partner now. and this is all along with thw wrinkles, the crepeness on ya arms, your bingo wings. Im sorry but im a perfectionist and i have always looked gud and wanted to keep looking gud but it just pisses me off that i think the guys got the better deal. nx time i pass this way i wanna be a man .

Beverly G.
bev G.4 years ago

I dont think theres one good thing about meopause, its not great, its a sign that your getting older and thats it. U start getting aches and pains u never had, your more at risk of cancer and heart attacks,. You go thru a traumatic time, your not in control, and you wonder whats happening to your body and mind. Its awful and horrible, well for me and i bet theres lots of women out there the same,. Sum women are lucky and sail thru it. I havent yet. Im 56 now.Its got slightly better but, every now and then something seems to change ,u have moments ,i mean a week or so where u feel and look diffrent.Its hard to explain. You cant go jetting off and doing all that stuff , what the above says, thats was what u shudda dun when u were younger and thats my opinion. We aint wonderwoman anymore.

Michele Wilkinson

Thank you

Jo Asprec
Jo Asprec4 years ago

Nice song for all the red hot mamas. Humor helps too!
Yes, we can live life to the fullest at menopause! The best years are still to come. Thanks!

Sara M Plues
Sara M Plues5 years ago

Thankyou for this, my herbal remedies are not working at all,I bought them for the hot sweats,which seem to have arrived with a vengence.like it says,going into the cold e.g.in the snow,makes them worse,triggers them too.
Im post menopause & have finally quit stimulants like smoking,alcohol,too much caffeine &keep getting the desire to do yoga.Im only 42,but it really does feel like time for a calm spell.Some sleep would help,so hopefully meditation will be the bit Ive missed!

Barbara Erdman
Barbara Erdman5 years ago

Thanx

annie statton
annie statton5 years ago

Flax seed is supposed to be fantastic ,it helps every cell in the body.

Ed And Deb S.

ruth a- true meditation can never disturb your mind

BUT

not being able to do it can cause frustration

Meditation is the greatest gift you can give your self - Be happy!