”When I am with Colette, I feel more like myself than I have ever felt. There is an aliveness and a sense of wholeness and purpose that makes me feel like I’m aligned with the Universe. She invites more joie de vive and seemingly infinite amounts of laughter into every area of our lives. Colette is much more energetic, kinetic, and just plain fun. She is fast and impatient. I am slower and more laissez faire about things. But to us it all seemed so natural. We have come together as a whole.”
For Colette, inviting Julia into her life meant taking on what seemed like a village that consisted of numerous kids and friends whose approval Julia felt she needed. Exploding the status quo created chaos within Julia vocal and sometimes hostile inner circle, causing her much depression and guilt. In fact, Julia would sometimes ask Colette, “Who are you and what am I doing?”
The continued chaos and turmoil often left Colette feeling as though she was losing her mind and the experience literally affected her heart.
With a history of heart disease, Colette went to see a new cardiologist for a stress test. While on the treadmill she felt a pinching sensation in the middle of her chest but didn’t really think much about it until the doctor informed her that she was having a heart attack and was about to be rushed to the hospital. While in the ambulance, Colette called Julia and told her to meet her at Lenox Hill Hospital. They were in the cardiac ER when they witnessed another woman in the midst of a full-blown heart attack.
At the same time Colette’s heart monitor was constantly beeping to signal that her blood pressure was dropping. Colette could see that Julia was on the verge of losing it so she sent her on some errands since she couldn’t figure out a way to comfort Julia and herself at the same time. The doctors determined that one of Colette’s arteries was 98 percent blocked. They operated the next day and inserted a new type of medicated stent, one that would re-open the artery while delivering medicine. The doctors assured her the stent would solve the problem.
Yet the chaos and uncertainty continued.
It was so clear to Colette that she really did have a “broken heart.” With that conclusion, she felt she had no alternative but to move out for awhile to do some serious soul searching. Not only was her physical heart in need of repair, so were her dreams of having the kind of relationship she always wanted. A self-proclaimed incurable romantic, she had wanted romance and deep sexuality, not conflict, chaos and tumult. She also felt a lot of sadness that they never really had a honeymoon period – they met, fell in love, and immediately were in the emotional deep end of their relationship.
Slowly she and Julia managed to work things out and discovered ways to lessen the stress and anxiety. Colette’s Wabi Sabi moment came when she went back to the cardiologist for a checkup and was told that the new medicated stent had closed up. And there was nothing they could do about it. This artery could no longer supply blood to her heart. It was at that crystal clear moment she realized that if she kept letting the chaos and stress get to her, it just might kill her.
Knowing how deep the connection was, how much she loved her and how important she was in her life, Colette knew she was going to keep choosing to be with Julia. Colette made a conscious decision to adopt some of Julia’s slower, more laid back style of living. Rather than moving at her lifelong “jitterbug” rhythm, Colette now spends more time “slow dancing” with Julia’s more languorous, sensual pace. Today, she now understands the significance and importance of this decision… it has without a doubt saved her life.
Julia, on the other hand, began to take on some of Colette’s strong and confident qualities that allow her to be more assertive and speak her mind without fear of disappointing or hurting other people’s feelings.
While their differences and styles of expressing themselves in the beginning were at times troubling and often frustrating, ultimately they both found the gifts in their differences: beauty, healing and tremendous growth.
At the end of the day, this unlikely twosome plan on spending the rest of their lives together appreciating every moment and taking their love to new heights.