Trust means that you are offered the promise of safety and can accept it. Both parts are necessary Ė there has to be the offer of emotional openness and also the ability to accept that a safe haven is truly present.
The question is, where can any of us turn for trust? First you must trust yourself, finding enough security so you are not blocked from your own release. We all feel inhibited. It is embarrassing to cry out in anguish.
Look inside and ask yourself if you hold any of the following beliefs: Iíve been hurting so long that itís too late to change. Iím waiting for someone to notice my pain. My pain means that I am alive. I deserve to be this way. Why wonít someone rescue me? I am crying out to be loved. I am not meant to understand.
Each of these attitudes gives you a reason to prolong suffering and block its release. Every time you repeat these rationales, you thicken the walls that imprison you. You have the choice to hold onto these beliefs for as long as you want, but trapped energies become stronger the more they are repressed.
The cycle of denial and suffering has to be broken. In place of the negative beliefs that have thickened the walls of repression, begin to absorb those beliefs that make the walls thinner, even if you havenít fully accepted them yet. Each positive belief reverses a negative one.
It doesnít matter how long Iíve been hurting this way: I can change. Perhaps not enough people have noticed my pain and taken it seriously, but I have noticed, and that is enough. My pain doesnít make me alive, it shuts out countless possibilities by blocking them from my life. I deserved to be healed. I donít need rescuing; I need help. There is always someone willing to help. I may not understand what is happening to me now, but if I undertake the healing journey, understanding will come.
Adapted from The Deeper Wound: Recovering the Soul from Fear and Suffering, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2001).