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Unconditional Love and Healthy Boundaries

Unconditional Love and Healthy Boundaries

The phrase “unconditional love” is a popular one. But what does it
mean, exactly?

Where do healthy boundaries–those emotional boundaries
that define our own unique presence–fit in? Don’t boundaries keep us
separate? Is merging with another the goal?

Are you misunderstanding the true nature of unconditional love? Find
out what this wise author has to say about it, and its relationship to
healthy boundaries, here:

Unconditional love has no goal in view. It simply is. It is the love that made us. I believe that this is the root of humankind’s restlessness, that we are looking for unconditional love and do not realize that it is already within us. So we fantasize and when we hear about unconditional love, we think we must emulate God and extend it to everybody immediately.

Then, of course, we flunk and feel a failure. Unconditional love is a universal principle, but it is also a learning experience. If we take the conscious decision to choose love as our spiritual practice, our personality blooms and flourishes. We grow.

But a misunderstanding of the true nature of unconditional love can be disempowering and weaken a person‘s capacity for self-sovereignty. It can foster dependency and co-dependency in a relationship. If I surrender or ignore my boundaries, then I don’t have to worry about or do the hard work of maintaining them. But boundaries don’t have to be separative at all; they are defining, and they help coalesce and focus energy and presence in a unique way.

Unconditional love does not say “I love everyone equally,” but rather “I love everyone appropriately and in response to their uniqueness.” And, very importantly, unconditional love does not mean unconditional acceptance of behaviors.

Read more: Spirit, Inspiration

Adapted from The Findhorn Book of Unconditional Love, by Tony Mitton (Findhorn Press, 2003). Copyright (c) 2003 by Tony Mitton. Reprinted by permission of Lantern Books.
Adapted from The Findhorn Book of Unconditional Love, by Tony Mitton (Findhorn Press, 2003).

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Annie B. Bond

Annie is a renowned expert in non-toxic and green living. She was named one of the top 20 environmental leaders by Body and Soul Magazine and "the foremost expert on green living." - Body & Soul Magazine, 2009. Learn Annie's latest eco-friendly news on anniebbond.com, a website dedicated to healthy and green living.

42 comments

+ add your own
10:23AM PDT on Apr 12, 2013

Boundaries are often tough, so interesting to hear some wise words about them. I differ from the author in that I don't believe we are born with unconditional love within us. But God'll gladly take his place there, if welcomed. Then we still struggle to work with boundary issues (hey, we're human) and articles like this help. Tx.

3:32AM PDT on Mar 21, 2013

Thank you :)

12:46AM PDT on Mar 21, 2013

thanks for sharing

8:07AM PDT on Mar 20, 2013

ty

10:36PM PST on Feb 25, 2013

Thank you for sharing.

10:35PM PST on Feb 25, 2013

Thank you for sharing.

10:34PM PST on Feb 25, 2013

Thank you for sharing.

12:28PM PDT on Apr 3, 2012

And, very importantly, unconditional love does not mean unconditional acceptance of behaviors.

I agree with this, i wouldn't feel unconditional love for someone who is a repeated murderer

2:54AM PST on Mar 4, 2012

What do you mean by unconditional love? Having sex with just anyone?

2:53AM PST on Mar 4, 2012

Love doesn't exist.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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