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Want to Be Famous? Think Again

Want to Be Famous? Think Again

Do you want to be famous? Well you shouldnít. Fame should be a surprise, not a goal.

From the moment we are born we instinctively seek validation Ė it is a natural part of human self-discovery. †As small children we hand crayon scrawlings to our parents desperately seeking an encouraging word. †And when we break a lamp, our heads swivel to defend against inevitable disapproving stares. Over our lifetimes, the desire for validation changes in intensity but the need for it remains, even through adulthood.

Fame is an intoxicating ó and perilous ó solution to this universal need.

And why not? It appears to solve all of your validation needs: countless people love you and think you are the best of the best, how could you not be amazing? Unfortunately itís a fantasy, a false illusion. The number of people who think you are great has no correlation to your own sense of worth. Itís like money: the more you make the more you want and it never makes you happier. (If fame is so wonderful, why do famous people run from the paparazzi?)

On occasion people have come forward to share this point. In the movie I Am, Tom Shadyac gives his personal account of his journey to wealth and fame directing blockbuster films. He discovered that he felt empty and disconnected as a result of his accomplishments. He created the documentary as a way to search for the worldís biggest problems and find some answers. His answers were many, but the ones I walked away with were that money doesnít buy happiness and, more importantly, that we are all connected, that we as humans need connection ó not fame ó to feel fulfilled. He didnít just find that fame didnít correlate to happiness; in fact he found that he was more unhappy as his fame grew. Now he only lives on what he needs and only does work that inspires regardless of its potential for making money.

The lack of connection Shadyac discovered speaks to my other reason that fame has its downfalls. When you become known by many, a public persona is formed. Ideally this persona would be the same as who you are, but itís more often the case is the public and private you different. This makes sense though: how can you reveal all of your deepest insecurities to millions of people, do you trust all of them? Do they know you well enough to not get the wrong impression? Your career is then dependent on people liking you. Your persona becomes part of your business success and therefore something that you evaluate and access versus just being you. Itís easy to get caught up in the game. Then you are back to where you started before you became known, not really being known by anyone. Thatís why some well known people can come across so artificially, they have to put on a show for their fans and then be who they really are behind closed doors.

I have been thinking about this dilemma because I help small business owners create marketing strategies that are intended to have them connect authentically with their clients. I am faced with person after person wanting to be bigger, more famous, and have a more extensive mailing list. And why not? Growth is essential; I for one love the process of growing ó itís why I do what I do.

What I have been struggling with is the desire to be famous and our fascination with wanting to emulate others that have achieved the highest levels within various industries. There is a pattern of copying what others do so that you can replicate their results on your own. But trying to be someone else never works and itís not fun. That is why so many people hate marketing. They think they ďhaveĒ to do certain things, because that is the way itís done. Sure, there are some basic things that are part of advertising yourself that are universal like having a website but ďhowĒ you market is completely up to you. I love creating unique strategies that are a reflection of the business, the ideal client and the passion of the business owner. That is where the secret sauce is. You have to make your own path.† I do this only because I canít do work that doesnít inspire me.

I learned this lesson through my foray into learning to paint. I hadnít taken any classes, I just knew I wanted to paint. And as a fan of Jackson Pollack, I knew I wanted to make BIG paintings, and I wanted to emulate his spattered style. So I went out and got huge canvasses and house paint (there was a house paint store nearby), and immediately began to copy Pollackís spattering process.

I liked my first piece but in the process of creating, my own style started to emerge. I started to try new things out. I started using different tools besides brushes to make different styles of spatters. And by the time I started on my second canvas, sure enough, I created something totally different that wasnít spattered at all. I then did another, then another. It turned out that I couldnít do any two paintings alike. They were all totally different, so different that each looked as though a different person had created it. I found that house paint worked well, so I started blending and doing all kinds of crazy things. The goal with marketing and connecting with customers is no different: do what is right for you.

The challenge is figuring out what you love and marketing in a way that is you. If you are doing work that you love and fame is a result of that, then so be it. But having fame as a goal is misguided. †When Eckhart Tolle was informed that he was picked as a book for Oprahís book club he responded with indifference ó he couldnít care less! That is a true sign of a fulfilled person. I have seen this in others I have run across and you can feel that they are doing what they love because they have a calling. Fame is something they have to put up with; they are not seeking it out. Yet because of this they become more attractive and then more famous. Itís a funny thing.

My point is that itís worth looking at your goals and figure out if you are seeking happiness from an outcome versus being happy with what is. Realize that being famous is not going to solve all your problems and that fame comes with as many cons as pros. Shoot for daily fulfillment and doing work that feeds you. And if you become famous as a result, then you can celebrate because you wonít need it, it just is.

Read more: Career, Inspiration, Life, Self-Help, Spirit

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Laura Garnett

Laura Garnett helps service driven, small business owners get clear on what their unique brand essence is. She then helps them grow their businesses in a way that is right for them and makes them happier and more successful. She combines business with pleasure because happiness is a key to success. She also interviews inspiring people about their path to success.

31 comments

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9:00PM PDT on May 8, 2012

Thanks.

5:23PM PDT on May 5, 2012

Great to see articles like this, thanks for posting.

1:59PM PDT on May 4, 2012

Would never want to be famous. Don't do pictures. Would like to be able to pay the bills without worrying, though.

5:02AM PDT on May 4, 2012

This article is a bit rambling, but has some very good points. Celebrities say over and over that fame doesn't make them happy. Some are happy IN SPITE OF fame. Others are desperately unhappy because of it. There is a reason suicide and addiction is so high among the rich and famous.

I disagree that money won' make you happy. Many people want to be famous because they think it equals financial security. Research proves that money can make poor people happier. Once you earn enough to pay for the basics plus a few luxuries then, no, money and fame won't make you happier. At that point happiness comes from fulfilling your own potential.

We all want to feel we are wonderful, talented, attractive and important to our society. That is how famous people are perceived. Laura's article is right that no amount of fame will give us this. Only working on ourselves, growing and learning will. But remember too that we need to each work to change society so we are not overwhelmed with media telling us that fame makes people more valuable.

7:40AM PDT on May 3, 2012

thank you

8:14PM PDT on May 2, 2012

No way would I ever want to be a celebrity ,it's all false,just an illusion.

3:47PM PDT on May 2, 2012

ty

3:45PM PDT on May 2, 2012

ty

3:22PM PDT on May 2, 2012

NOTED!

3:17PM PDT on May 2, 2012

Being famous is a curse. Being rich without fame is far better.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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