I am responsible for ME, if I change my thinking from what I think I need from others,to what I can give to others. I admit I ALREADY have enough to share. My happiness etc is not based on what they may be thinking back. My peace and happiness IS based on MY thoughts.

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It IS joyful to give to others. But one has to look after oneself, too. If one is open, loving and giving, but others are not as evolved, but greedy, selfish and take advantage of it, it could leave one rather crushed and used up. No, I don't think it always comes back in kind :) Best to be discerning.

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My day is made when I see everyone around me is happy- Stephen C. Bett

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Hi Linda,
Just some of my thoughts (just my own thoughts, from the 'me' who am just a work in progress...and may be not a great amount of progress, either) on your question(s) "(1) "How can I say it silently?" (2) If I say it & she tells me what she wants and I cannot provide it, which is the major reason for the unhappiness (3) What will I do bcos making her happy makes me happy.
Firstly, for wanting to say it "not silently" and the "desire to give and being able to" making you happy, congratulations on your attitude to giving. Secondly, in a similar predicament, I porayed and meditated about it before bed time (which I do regularly) and ended up almost in tears and saying many times over in my prayer, "I don't know, God, please, please help me". This happened over three nights and when woke up on the fourth morning the thought that came to me was, "Am I trying to play God here? I can only give what I can within my own limitations" and the anguish was over and I felt a sense of peace. Since then the "I don't know" has satyed with me. I find myself saying it more easily and it makes me less fearful and gives me peace. And I'm also beginning to think, it gives me more clartity in finding solutions. Might be something in what Socrates said, "I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing." If I am not mistaken, I believe even the Buddhist philosophy says that "I don't know" is the beginning of all knowledge.

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is happyness is a state of the ego?

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If I am happy, or want to be happy and I choose to silently say to the someone before me:"I seek your peace. What am I not giving you? What can I give you now?" ,but the someone before me does not want to be happy and ALWAYS chooses to find unhappiness in everything. He/she thinks : "I seek my personal pleasure. What am I not getting from you? What do I need from you now?" ...How does my thinking any of this bring me happiness?

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To be happy, first u have to be at peace with yourself, and then transmit your hapiness to everybody around you. Happiness is life!!

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This certainly wouldn't work on my 9-year-old granddaughter! But, I'm working on it. In the meantime, I must remember that patience truly is a virtue.

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WHAT WE GIVE WE RECEIVE TWO-FOLD! THAT IN ITSELF MAKES US HAPPY!

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this advice is clearly based upon one of the world's oldest and truest maxims:
To Paraphrase: It's not what we receive from others but what we give to others which provides the basis for true love and happiness.

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